The blog will continue to document these journeys."
The passage made me remember how much has gone through my life and how I've treated it like water. It just passes by me and i don't even blink. Even now with my son, how much time has gone by and I've just missed him growing up? While I've been with him every step of the way (including his actual steps!) i just feel as though life has breezed through without realizing I'm here. Sam will be 18 months on Friday and with that realization I start trying to remember what he was like when he was 15 months/12 months/ 6 months/ when he was born. It's like waking up from a foggy dream. You are trying to remember the details but really you can just pick the settings and the surroundings. And that extends past the child raising years. After reading Susan's attempts at remembering faces I look through my old college photos and try to remember these people. I can still remember most of them and remember what we were doing inside the picture. (I think I have a filing cabinet for a memory sometimes because I can be really good about remembering these sort of things!) For me, it isn't about trying to remember who these people are or where I was when the photo was taken. For me, it's about the feelings that I felt when the pictures were taken. How happy I was or how frustrated. Was that photo a lie? Did we try and attempt a Norman Rockwell painting and create this candid shot of everyone there happy and full of life? Or was it the truth.
As I said in reply to Susan's blog, i think the photo can be a lie. At that moment, I think the essence of who we were was captured but not the correct sequence of events? There is a picture from college of a buddy of mine and I in mid struggle, posing in our wrestler moves. We look like two guys just having a great night and practicing being best friends. An hour before I had stupidly admitted to a girl that I had really deep feelings for her and she shot me down. So this buddy and I went out to a party and proceeded to "forget my troubles." But no one knows that about this picture. It's a cover-up shot, something to make my life look happier than it really is. These pictures shade the truth because when we're older we don't want to remember feeling sad or depressed, rather, we want to remember how much love we had in our lives and how we got something out of it. Something that made living this long worth it.
I look at these photos and I do remember pretty much everyone. There were a couple names who escaped me (but being that I probably have no less than 2 degrees of separation from them, i'm confident I could find out who they are!) Regardless, I'm not too concerned with remembering them. I think sometimes we surround ourselves with people who are in our proximity but not necessarily ones who will bring us higher up in life. Especially in college, your next door neighbor or your roommate was someone you hung out with not because they were going to be your BFF but because they were assigned to you and their availability was convenient. Not to say those relationships don't become strong over the years, but it's not so important to remember these people's names but to hold on to the fact that you know at that moment the picture was taken, you felt happy/sad/curious/relieved whatever the emotion was. at the end of our lives, our feelings are all that really matter and not how many people we befriended on facebook, or how many social gatherings we were at. We practice our emotions all throughout our lives and taking pictures remind us of how easy it is to do it. Enjoy knowing that your practice has paid off and the faces that you can remember are probably for a good reason.
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It should be the voted the best movie of 2010. It was that good! The ideas behind it really make you think and the end was just a great way to wrap it up. DiCaprio really puts his whole self in each of his movies and this was definitely no disappointment! Ellen Page was a great addition and seeing her in a new light away from her Juno days gave her a lot of respect as an actress. I am really impressed that Hollywood is still able to bring out these movies that can make you think, captivate you and touch you. If you want to know more about the plot please let me know!
