Okay, so I haven't written this in a while but I have a really good excuse! I have been writing up the wahzoo for my intro portofolio to get into the Master's of Arts in Teaching program at Frostburg and I have been pouring my soul out so that they know how right I am for this program. I figured while I was writing about how my dedication to the field of education is a collaborative bridge builder i would share what i wrote with you all. I hope this also gives an insight to how much work this thing is taking and it's only the intro. THE INTRO! All this work and I might not even get into this program. However, I hope this small taste of what you read will be enough to get my foot into that proverbial front door.
In this portion i have to explain a life experience that is collaborative. I have chosen to write about raising Sam. Sounds like something two people would have to collaborate on right?! Well here we go!
I want to spend this portion describing my biggest accomplishment and share with you how it has helped me grow as a teacher and as a man. To do this I need to give you a little history of how it all started.
My fiancé and I met in Boston in the summer of 2008 for a conference. If there was such as a thing as love at first sight then we definitely met that cliché. We both worked for the same owner of My Gym (I was assistant director in Columbia, Maryland and she was Co-director in Frederick) and yet for the past 2 years that we had worked for our owner, never once did we meet. I’m sure there are a million reasons why she never introduced us (it never crossed her mind, we lived in different cities, she didn’t like us that much, etc.) whatever the reasons were, it was a true shame because the two of us are incredibly similar. Needless to say, when we met at the airport for the first time to fly to Boston, we shook hands and the rest became history. We spent the entire weekend talking about everything under the sun; from My Gym to relationships to addictions, we never ran out of exciting and interesting topics to talk about. We spent most of the conference engaged in our own conversations and to this day I have never met someone as interesting as she.
We fall madly in love so very soon after starting to date that is actually took us by surprise. We thought this would be a casual dating experience and within weeks of meeting, we were driving the 77.15 miles between us every night after work to be with each other. I think at the time it was some sort of romantic fantasy of mine to meet someone and prove my worth by driving the distance and calling that my dragon. It sort of becomes a misty haze when I try to fathom my reasons for why we gave so much to the oil companies during those first couple of months in our relationship. The only thing that I knew was that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.
On October 24th, 2008, I heard two words that completely changed my life: it’s positive. I nod my head at this right now as I reminisce the dumb waiter falling down my stomach and my jaw hitting the ground. Actually, reliving it, I’m surprised I didn’t faint. I am going to be a father. I am sure many of us have witnessed that happy occasion where the man and woman hug with tears coming out of their eyes. I promise you that was not us. In fact, I wasn’t even in the same room as my fiancé. We were working when she took the test. After the initial shock wave calmed down and I was able to actually count my pulse, my mind decided to hit me with another shock wave, this one filled with questions: we love each other but how much? I’ve only known this person for three months what if it doesn’t work out? What have I gotten myself into? I’m too young to raise a child and I have this career going on, what do I do? Every fear was racing through our minds. What could we do? So we took a couple of deep breaths, said I love you, hung up the phone and went back to our Halloween parties at our respective gyms and put on a happy and very much needed brave face.
Over the next 9 months, we spent a lot of time learning even more about each other than before. First we had to meet our significant other’s parents and break the news. Well it took a little bit longer than the first meeting but I won’t get into those details. We checked off taking a vacation together on our chimerical list, shared holidays, I even job transferred down to Frederick to live together. We had so much uncertainty going against us the only certainty we had left was that we loved each other enough to try. Our son was born on July 14th, 2009 and to this day, he is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. Raising a child with a person I am just beginning to know is my biggest life experience. And there are plenty of mistakes made on both of our parts and learning to be a father and a mother is an experience itself. We have spent a lot of time talking about what approach we will take in terms of discipline, nurture, nature, even as far as cloth diapers and elimination communication. Both parents involved have opinions and we have worked through our opinions to collaborate on the best choices for our son. I am new at this dad stuff but I do believe that is what being a parent (and a man) is all about. It has been our goal that my fiancé and I have always put first: His well-being is more important than being right. As our son grows I begin to think perhaps our relationship is stronger because of having Sam so fresh into it. Some may claim that can be a downfall and I am sure statistically speaking it is a reasoned risk. For us, it gave us a new chapter to spend countless hours into the night discussing. How would we raise our son? What sports will he play? What will his interests be? Will he have his mother’s beautiful smile and his father’s wit? Will he laugh a lot or cry a lot? These were only the first night’s questions. As I said, we spend a lot of time talking about him.
I know there will be many life experiences that I will encounter, some of which will slap me in the face as soon as I start the MAT program. I believe that raising a child has been a big enough experience to give me confidence that I can handle anything that comes my way. Raising a child is a collaborative activity and I believe that if I can find a way to successfully raise my son, I can find a way to educate another man’s son. I am hoping as time goes on that I will continue to have that sense of accomplishment and hopefully make my son [and fiancé] proud.
