expecting

so for those of you who haven't heard, i'm having a child. yippee!!

"what the hell patrick?! you, of all people are going to be a father?! "

yes yes, i know, do I seem like the one person in the world who is mature enough to handle the responsibilities of being a father? I guess it's time to grow up! I will say that it is incredibly exciting to get ready for this thing. From choosing what clothes he'll wear (oh yeah, I'm having a boy!) to where we're going to live, to what we're going to name him, it's really getting me excited! 

I guess I had a little freak out moment a couple of days ago. I was leading this birthday party and this child kept saying, "let's do that again!" over and over. And I began to think, how did he learn what again means? did he learn it at school or was it something that he picked up as he was growing up? I have to teach my baby all of these things! I have to be in charge of making sure he has the best education. From fractions, to ABCs to Obama, there are so many things in this world that I have to teach my little one about. Am I going to be able to do that for him? I don't want him to get into kindergarden and be low functioning just because dad didn't teach him properly!! So I guess I got really freaked out about all of that. But Alice calmed me down and I stopped worrying about it all.

I just realize how much responsibility a parent has. Not just with keeping them fed and warm but entertaining it, cleaning it, holding it, loving it, educating it. There's just so much and there's probably even more that I'm not even thinking about. If you keep thinking this way it's enough overwhelm you!

I guess most men have those thoughts of how ready they are to be a father and I am definitely in that bracket. I guess in all honesty I'm pretty much ready to do this and I'm not 100% sure if having a baby has truly hit me yet. I think that I'm still floating on the idea that this is someone else's child. From what I've read about it, most men do not feel like a true father until they are in the delivery room and see their child born. And once he's in your arms, life suddenly becomes very real to them! So I guess we'll have to wait and see if that's me!