Marathon

So My sister ran in the Marine Corps Marathon this past Sunday. I thought it would be a lot of fun to take Sam down to see her do it. We took the metro and he loved it! No joke, he was standing on my leg peering out the window watching the skyline rush past us. It was incredible. He would bounce up and down and just stare as everything would fall behind us. It was very cool. Took a few pics of it as well. We get to Rosalyn and holy hell! It is pack like no other!

tangent: we were sitting in our seat when a lady sat down next to us and Sam looked at her and smiled. He just kept staring at her and then we get to the metro stop and she gets up. He starts to fuss and he's getting cranky and looks up to see her still looking at him and he stops right away and smiles! Hah, such a ladies man!

Tangent 2: I was telling this story later on that evening to Alice's father and Alice added the comment, "Patrick was like, 'at least we know he's not gay!'" which her mom is, and her dad says, "he gets those lady watching genes from me!" and I said, "to be fair, he could have also gotten them from Alice's mom!" oops! and we're back in.

So yeah, this event was so crowded and we're only down in the subway terminal. We can't move and they're corralling us like cows getting ready to meet our ancestors! My parents had said when they arrived earlier that the escalator's had stopped working. Rosalyn's a good 100 yards straight up by stairs. And with a baby? Wow, this was going to be fun. However, the escalator had been fixed by the time we got there and so Sam and I rode up, single file, to the top and got out. And what was waiting for us?

PEOPLE PEOPLE PEOPLE!!

To give you an idea of how many people were in this city at this moment, the race had over 30,000 runners. So imagine, each one of them bringing at least 2 family members. Then imagine 2/3rds of them bringing 2 family members and friends. Then imagine 1/2 of those people bringing 2 family members and friends with children. Yeah, it was pretty ridiculous. The nice thing was that you could definitely move. It wasn't like 95 traffic where you're not sure if you're going to move or just sit there. Everyone was on the go. It was such a spectacular event though. People were all around hugging and laughing and cheering. There were bands playing, food vendors, other people selling stuff. Very chaotic but very controlled. A guy who must've been at the finish line was talking through the speakers, interviewing a few people here and there that just finished (I swore I heard him interview my old band director) and calling out people who crossed through the finish line. You could hear stories from some passerby's about how they had someone run with them or talk with just keep them going. A very inspirational time!

I arrived at 12:15ish. I was expecting Colleen to be finished around 12:30 but turns out she didn't finish until 1:30. I had to be back in Frederick by 4:00 so we could pick Alice up and go to her dad's at 4:30 for dinner. It took me 2 hours to get to Rosalyn. So I'm guessing I had to leave by 2. So I literally saw Colleen, gave her a hug, took a picture, told her congrats and goodbye. Just not enough time in my busy life! Sam and I started walking back to the Metro and met a wonderful crowd! And this time, it was like 95 traffic. It was not moving! So we are stuck in this mess and when we slip into the middle of it all, Sam decides that now is the perfect time to scream his little head off! I don't know if he was hungry, tired, tired of being in the bjourn, or scared of being stuck in with all of these people, but these were loud, ear splitting screams! I didn't know what to do! So I did the first thing that popped in my head: I smacked him across the face over and over, until he slumped unconsciously on my chest!

Just kidding!

I left the metro. We sat down and I gave him a bottle to eat which he unenthusiastically ate. I then began to think that he wouldn't handle that crowd and I had no choice but to ride the metro. I figured that if we could walk to the next metro stop then he might be calm enough to enter. Also, there might be less people at that stop. So we started walking.

Foggy Bottom is the next stop. Which is basically 2 miles away. Carrying a baby. And a diaper bag. Awesome. The thing that sucks the most about this part is that walking all that way only got me 1 metro stop up! And the train was still packed! We couldn't sit down and he started to cry again. But I was like, i have no choice here! People are just going to deal with it. At one point I was leaning over to feed him a bottle as he laid in the bjourn to drink. I wasn't about to take him out and set him down or carry him and then have to start trying to get on the train. There weren't a whole lot of options at this point! But once we started to move Sam calmed down a lot. And then when we got on the red line there were less people and a nice lady (who offered Sam a cookie!) let us sit down. The last stop before ours he started to cry so loud that the people sitting in front of me got up and walked to the opposite side to sit down. But as soon as they left he stopped so those people probably smelled bad anyway! Our stop was next and we were home!

And that's the story of how I met your mother. back at frederick. and we were late.

Brake

I need to slow down!!

holy crap! I have been going non-stop lately! All i want to do is reach the end. I stepped back tonight and realized that so much has happened to me lately that I forget to slow down and look at what has been happening. Just take a moment to look at what has happened and enjoy it.

I've been talking to a few people in my past life in the last couple of days and thinking wow, I want to have a few more kids and I want to take them to park. I dream about taking them on a trip and taking a million pictures and having a birthday party for them. Even closer to home, I imagine Sam's first birthday. Even closer to that, I picture him walking and talking. I just can't seem to wait for it! I forget how exciting his life is right now. I get all wrapped in what will happen in the next few years that I lost focus of what he's doing right now. Laughing. And smiling. Just moving about grabbing onto his identity in this crazy world! It's so cool. I'm forgetting that at this moment, it's exciting, it's fun and don't lose it. I know that when I'm older I'll look back at it and just wish I could relive that moment. But then I completely forget about it when I see all of these other children laughing and playing with their friends. I just seem to to get lost in the future that I can't bring myself back to the present. Not only him, but I hear about all these fun trips that my retired friends are taking and I want to do that! I'm not even in a job where I can start planning retirement! But here I am, making plans about what to do and where to go.

STOP!

focus on what is now! just enjoy your life. Thrive in your life. That's the message I find myself repeating over and over to myself to keep it in check. You have a great life and you're missing it! I plan my wedding, my honeymoon, my vacations, my dream job, my retirement. I plan it all. And all I really want to do is calm down, breathe and jump into my current situation. It's great. It's awesome. Relax. It's here for you and you need to get down in it.

I am just feeling so very fast-paced right now. There is just so many possibilities coming my way that I get wrapped up in it. I guess part of it has been that I'm so curious as to what Sam will do when he gets older. Will he be a sports guy? Will he be an artist, a musician, an actor, a model (let's face it, the kid is gorgeous!) or something else? What will it be. Alice and I spend hours on end talking about what talents he'll have and what should we get him involved in. I guess that's the big thing. We plan for his future, not so much direct his life, but what can we expose him to? I know that I want him to experience everything! That thought sweeps me away from the now. And it's time to just stop running and start walking. You see a better view that way. Be the snail. While the rabbit might be the first to take the lead, the turtle did enjoy life a lot more. Hell, the rabbit fell asleep. We get that moral wrong all the time. It's not about slow and steady win the race. It's not about who crosses the finish line first, it's who enjoyed the journey getting there. Slow and steady is a metaphor for people who took time to breathe in their surroundings and thrive in them. I think about that and I realize that I can barely remember the last 3 months of what happened to me. I need to just relax. The things that I'm planning will come. Enjoy the journey of getting there. Don't be so anxious. Laugh. Love. Live.

I just want so much for myself and I'm afraid if I slow down I'll miss that chance. There will be others though right? There will be other trains that come along. I said a month or so ago that I was afraid of saying goodbye to a lot of things. I'm thinking with the way that I'm headed, that I'm passing through so much forgetting to say goodbye. And that's why I'm not ready to let go of it. I've been deprived of saying goodbye because I flew past it without doing that. But taking the time to get there and enjoying it and cherishing it will enable be to say goodbye properly. That's my new goal. Slow down and enjoy what I'm doing with my life. Planning is good. I'm a planner. I'm a futurist. But don't get so wrapped in the future. Don't get so wrapped up in plans that you miss what's right in front of you. Remember that.

That's what I wanted to say.

P.S. Cranberry ale is made. Give it a few more days and then I'll be second fermenting it. Can't wait! Hope it tastes alright. I'll let you know. Again, can't wait! Hurry up beer! Have I really learned anything?

booooring!!

I said I would write some more and that's what I'm doing!

Blogging is a lot like twitter. But I've never seen twitter so I can't compare. Twitter is stupid. And it bothers me that everyone does it. But from the sounds of it, it's retarded and I don't like being retarded. For more info go to http://current.com/items/91075172_twitter-worth-a-billion.htm about retarded it is.

That sentence was retarded.

I really wish I had things to talk about today.

Writing is very uneventful. I'm slowly going back to starting graphic design work. I'm offering freelancing opportunities and then I'm going to pursue some actual jobs. I really need to get my website back up. I should probably figure that out! But I'm just kind of learning what I need to do to survive in this world. I think that was it goes along, I will eventually figure out what I'm trying to accomplish but not right now. Right now, it's time for spending time with my family and raising my son and just being a good dad and boyfriend.

This post sucks! I told all of you to start reading and here I am with super lame-o post!

I am making my cranberry beer today! I'm going to call it Cranberry Hoppin Daddy! haha, but it's going to be a sweet, hoppy tasting beer. I hope it's good. If it is, you know the recipe will be on here! Okay, I'm gonna get ready to do that today and spare all of you from reading anymore. I swear the next post will be interesting.

And more pics!

He's so small in these!

Gimme a kiss!

seriously, are we taking another picture?!

Strive

So I'm slowly deciding on taking a writer's approach to life. I will be trying to write more frequently and more on a concentrated subject: Parenthood. I think that a person in my line of work reach out and let other's know that there are men out there that strive to be a good dad. They strive to make sure they offer the very best for their children. I want to be able to talk more and more about it.

Not only that, I want to enlighten people about being a dad without having the ring on their finger. We look at the country we live in and more than 50% of those people have children without being married. That right there is a sign that there will be many lost people out there who think that no one is there for them. I want to be able to say, "hey, it's okay. I'm here for you" without the pretense of judgement, or arrogance, or even condemnation. We need to feel safe about the choices we make. Sorry, safe is a bad word to use here. I'm not going to be more a conservative but let's admit it. They call it an accident for a reason. We didn't plan on having a child, it was an accident. Let's not blow that word out of proportion! Society takes us to call our child an accident like a sin. We are tarred and feathered for accusing our baby for being born before any martial status has occurred. Condemn us for doing what everyone else is doing! I apologize for engaging in premarital sex and for doing what every person does when they are in a relationship. The only difference between us is I have proof that it happened! Not so much a very fair thing in our lives to do. Life wasn't meant to be fair to anyone (except a few people I've met in life who have it all! Those lucky sons of bitches!) but it has a very distinct way of working out.

I take back what I said earlier. I don't apologize for engaging in premarital sex. It was wonderful and it caused us to have Sam. And for a society that 50% of marriages end in divorce why would we want to go through a bunch of different hoops only to learn that we weren't meant for each other and drag Sam through custody battles and yadda yadda. It works the way we want it to work and we'll go from there. I'm not so naive to think that we're immune to those situations but if we had rushed getting married, I definitely think we would have a lot of stress on our hands right now. As the case, we're doing very well and I'm anxious to talk about it.

So I'm trying to write more and I promise that I will post more on here (more than once a month) but I need to figure out some stronger and more powerful things to talk about than just my day-to-day life. I am going to focus on that. Goal for the week: list things that you see or are interested in talking about and research more. Also, try and record some of your dreams. They are really neat and have good content in there but you forget in the morning. So work on that. Above all, I write my story and no one else. And because I write it, I get to decide what I do or don't. Not a society, not my family, and not the media. My choices and I'm proud of the ones I've made so far. Ears open, mind open, heart open and let's go!

Also, I'm brewing a Cranberry Ale and an Apple Cinnamon beer. I will let you know how they go and then post. Here's a few more shots of Sam.

How cute is he?! Answer: Very cute!

THE FAMILY!!

we look soooo good!