I get these random dad moments.
Like this past weekend I'm watching the water (lake Michigan) and I just miss him. I want to see him so bad! I'm tired of just talking about him. I want to hold him, I want to make him smile, I want to feed him change him and cuddle him. I miss my family. That was the other thing. I'm a family man now! Holy cow, every decision I make and do has to be run through the family! I have responsibilities' my friend mike brought up a good point: I don't feel old. I feel like I stoops growing and the rest of the world kept going. I hit 22 and that's all. I didn't get any older an yet here are these children that are like 19 now! What the hell? My campers from the first year I was a camp counselor are applying to college! When did that happen?! I mean, weren't they just finishing up their first summer like me? I guess when you get older your life sort of tapers off. I don't mean you have nothing to look forward to, quite the opposite! But time becomes so much more routine and you're not rushed to learn how to drive, buy cigarettes, vote, get into a bar, you rally have it all. And at that point there are less and less milestones to go. You become so drone like in your routine in life that it completely catches you off guard when you realize you are having a child and then BAM! He's born and then all of a sudden he can smile and then now he can roll over! Oh yes, Sam has learned a new trick!
Like this past weekend I'm watching the water (lake Michigan) and I just miss him. I want to see him so bad! I'm tired of just talking about him. I want to hold him, I want to make him smile, I want to feed him change him and cuddle him. I miss my family. That was the other thing. I'm a family man now! Holy cow, every decision I make and do has to be run through the family! I have responsibilities' my friend mike brought up a good point: I don't feel old. I feel like I stoops growing and the rest of the world kept going. I hit 22 and that's all. I didn't get any older an yet here are these children that are like 19 now! What the hell? My campers from the first year I was a camp counselor are applying to college! When did that happen?! I mean, weren't they just finishing up their first summer like me? I guess when you get older your life sort of tapers off. I don't mean you have nothing to look forward to, quite the opposite! But time becomes so much more routine and you're not rushed to learn how to drive, buy cigarettes, vote, get into a bar, you rally have it all. And at that point there are less and less milestones to go. You become so drone like in your routine in life that it completely catches you off guard when you realize you are having a child and then BAM! He's born and then all of a sudden he can smile and then now he can roll over! Oh yes, Sam has learned a new trick!
It's just so crazy how if you were to pay attention to these children you would really see them grow up and know that they go from 10 to 11 to 12 and so on. But as you don't have such contact with them they really go from 10 to 18 so quickly that you have to stop and check to see if 8 years really has gone by! Absolutely absurd.
The point of that tangent, I feel more and more like a dad each day, as I watch Sam grow and how often I think about what is best for him and how I'm going to raise him. I want to make sure that he grows at a progressive age line and not skipping years without me noticing! I just want to make sure I always be active in his life.
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