Thursday, January 28, 2010

Vent

We get a lot of crap from mom's magazine's and coupons about diapers, formula, other crap that people apparently like to buy (an entire Nestle catalog with coupons for all of their stuff all in a handy yearly calendar so you can keep track of your kid's fatness!) Most of it, like any other coupon you think, "I'll definitely use this!" and three months after the expiration date you realize that you still have it. It piles up and over the coupon holder that we keep in our kitchen and from time to time remember to throw it away. Some of it we use right away, like free tacos from Taco bell (can I get a mmmmm!) but for the most part we get our healthy share of what ifs.

I absolutely hate Mom magazines. There are all of these just sob stories of how their child never sleeps and what can I do to improve, tips on how to lose that belly and really bad snacks that you can dress up to look really cute (ie. whoopie pie dressed up as mice with whip cream eyes and chocolate chip nose's and licorice smiles and pretzel sticks for whiskers. The Whoopie pie part was unhealthy to begin with!) Most of all, I hate the fact that these mom magazine's are made for parents and yet nothing actually covers things for a dad. And if that knife that stabbed you in the heart really didn't disrupt any ventricle, it gives you articles such as, "how to make your man recognize your child" or "a better place to put the diaper bag so dad will find it". Kinda annoying. I know that most of these magazines have 98% women reader's and most dad's would never lift a finger to read this trash, but even still. There are 2% of us still out there who would enjoy a healthy tip or two. And I'm not talking about how to figure out if your child is sick. They're puking, they're probably sick! I'm saying, incorporate some of these articles to help dad's find the best way to sleep, what your baby is trying to tell you, when does attachment really start to kick in. These days I'm finding that each article I read I have to substitute "mom" for "dad" and it kinda drives me crazy! I'm pretty sure it's taking two of us to raise our kid and shouldn't that warrant an extra article for me?!

The reason for this rant is the article I read in Baby Talk. Now I will say it's pretty cool that a magazine that's geared towards moms actually has a Senior Editor that's a father and he has his own column. The thing that isn't cool are the topics that he chooses (also, he's not a terribly great writer).  This month he chooses to write about breaking up with his spouse by 8 years. He himself is not doing it, but read a statistic that most marriages end after 8 years of life. He has the funny moments like, "I'm going to end up a diabetic man remarried to a Russian woman, seeing my boys every other weekend." But the big problem is that he doesn't actually relate any part of his life to this article. It's mostly a what-if. He even states at the end, "The truth is despite all the research, there is no seeing what lies on the other side of a break-up." 

THEN WHY BRING IT UP?!

He doesn't even believe this would happen to him so why waste all of our time writing this two column article when it doesn't even apply. This is what I get as a dad? A useless article about things that may or may not come into fruition? Meanwhile I've got A-ZZZ's about sleep, love your new mom body and hip mama articles for the women. C'mon! I just need some sort of substance that allows me to know that what I'm doing is okay and that I'm not the only one doing it. Not morbid thoughts about what would my life be like if it ended!

Unbelievable.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Helpless

There are two things that I've found have helped me over the years. One is to write. The other is to make/drink beer. These days it's more drinking than making but still, making it is very therapeutic. So, I'm putting a beer recipe on here. Enjoy!

Oh, nevermind, it's at the bottom. Haha, you have to read this first!

So everyone says how amazing childbirth is and it's called Labor for a reason. Now, I've never had a child going through my vagina, or a vagina for that matter either, but I've been told it's the most excruciating pain ever. Hence, why god made drugs! Since I will never have that experience and can never empathize with any woman about it, I must find something as equally painful for myself to be put through. This week I found it: watching your child sick. Now guaranteed there isn't any screaming, making constipated faces, or completely emptying your bodily fluids onto someone... okay, it's a lot like that actually. Point is, it's from this little tiny guy that you promised you would take care of and love and protect from any harm! And damnit! You just broke that promise to him. He's sick. And with RSV.

Of course the wonderful doctor at the ER says, "it's RSV" and I have to throw on my understanding face with my understanding nod and my understanding voice as if I should've guessed that all along. And then when Alice or the doctor weren't looking, I'm on WebMd figuring out what the hell this is. RSV means Respiratory Syncytial Virus and I quote, 


"RSV is a very contagious virus and the most common cause of bronchiolitis (inflammation of the small airways in the lung) and pneumonia in children younger than age 1 in the U.S.  Almost all children are infected with the virus by their second birthday, but only a small percentage of children develop severe illness. RSV can infect you several times during your lifetime. After each RSV infection, your body becomes more immune to the virus, but you are never completely immune."


So there you go. Some schmuck gave my kid a virus. It's times like these that you really want to be in a movie where you're back at the scene of the crime completely undetected and the perp walks in and starts talking in the booth behind you about what a great job he/she did coughing on little Sammy the other day and have ya heard?! Kid's got RSV now. And then you stand up and say, "that's my kid you're talking about!" and you punch them so hard you knock em out! And then you punch the other guy and KO his ass just as easily. Of course depending on the movie you're looking at the main guy/girl will have the vaccine that you need to cure Sam and presto, you've saved the day!


Wish I was a superhero.


But nope, just a regular dad and all he can do is keep his son warm, keep his fluids up, keep holding him and telling him that it's okay. 


The other thing that makes this whole sick kid hurt even worse than child-bearing is the mother. Alice has been such a wreck with this. And guaranteed, she's strong when she needs to be. Making quick decisions, standing up for herself and being a amazing mother, but watching her son sick and in pain really just breaks her down. And watching the tears fill up her eyes and roll down her cheeks just breaks my heart. I swore besides protecting him, I would do everything I can to make her happy. I can't keep that promise. I hate breaking that promise. I just feel so helpless that I can't wave my magic wand and cure all ailments. I just sit there, holding him wanting to reach out and hold her too. You can only tell someone that it will be okay so many times. It's a rough time and I know I'm taking a simple RSV and turning it into a huge disease with no cure and no chance of recovery but when you're a first time parent and everything is new to you, yeah, you make lions out of kittens.


His fever is down and he's sleeping and that's the best I can do.






Cranberry Hoppin' Daddy


Malt Extract
6.6 lb Light LME
Grains
1 lb Crystal 20L
Hops
3oz bittering (Cascade)
1.5 oz Aroma
Dry Yeast
Nottingham
Cranberries (6lbs)
Cranberry syrup


Boil water, seep grains, add one can of Malt Extract. Boil again. Add 1 oz. Hops. Boil for 20 min and then add another 1 oz of hops. Boil for another 20 min add second can of Malt Extract and third oz of hops. Boil for 10 min and then add finishing hops for 5 min. Cool. While this is all boiling, I boil the cranberries and then mash them up and throw them into the Fermentor. Then pour wort into fermentor stir and add yeast. Ferment for 7 days and then throw into second fermentor for 7-10 days. When bottling, I add about .5oz of priming sugar to keep the carbonation to a minimum and then add cranberry syrup. Pour the beer into your bottling bucket, bottle and in about 7 days it's ready to drink! Yum!

Friday, January 22, 2010

Check

I was watching smallville (go ahead and laugh) with this episode where Clark saves this cop from making a really bad decision and there was just this scene where the cop has the choice from going along with this plan and ruining his life or being the good guy and stoping his friends and ending the terrible sequence of events they've caused. I won't bore you with the whole plot line unless you want me to which in that case just post a comment and I'll be sure to email you!
Anyway...
The big message that Clark Kent was trying to get across to this cop is that he has a family, a wife and a kid, and is what he's doing right now make his family proud? Is this cop happy with the choices he makes and would his family be proud of these choices? And as sappy as it sounds, it made me think of my own family. Holy Crayola! Are you doing a good job?! Are the decisions that I make, the decisions that my son would be proud of me for doing? I'm not saying that I'm doing any sort of killing or any sort of mischief that would have my son question my morals. All I'm saying is, whatever decision it is that I do at that moment, how will it impact him later? What am I doing to provide for my family that will actually have a positive effect? If my son could talk, would he say how proud he is of me? Those questions I want to continue to swim inside of my head so I can always spot-check myself. I want to know that no matter what I decide to do with my life, my son will be proud of his father. 
And that's why that episode made me cry.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

10K

Today is my 10,000th day of being alive. As a friend pointed out to me, we celebrate the years that we are alive and yet don't we always say treasure the moments?  Here we are saying Happy Birthday but it's only that one day each year. Let's celebrate the days that we are alive as well! Happy 10K! Thanks for being on this planet for that long. Here's a toast to going another 10,000! But anyway, this'll be a short blog. I just wanted to tell everyone that I am celebrating the days that I'm alive today.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Decisions

It's the new year and already many things have happened!

For one thing, My Gym Frederick is closing. Crap on a stick! This was just awful news to get on New Year's Eve and then after trying to push it from you mind and just enjoy the last few days of the holiday before returning back to work, walking in and seeing the announcement in your inbox! I mean, c'mon! How awful is that?!

Because of it, Alice will be going to Owings Mills which is an hour drive sometimes more if the traffic gets backed up and I will be in Columbia, which is a forty-five minute drive. Both of these drives are taking us away from our 5 minute (and that's if there's traffic and we miss the light) commute from our home currently. We will miss you Frederick. If anyone is looking to buy a Gym right now please let me know! We can save Frederick!

There have been a couple other things that have happened but I'm not entirely sure I want to write about them quite yet just because of who may be reading this or who may be reading this and tell certain people about this and then they read this. A little more complicated than it should be!

Resolutions? What wonderful things are we going to promise to do and then fail miserably at? Well, for the last couple of years I have made a resolution to be nicer to others. Two years ago it was be more appreciative of my parents and last year it was be nice to others. Last year's probably last five minutes until I was fed up with someone and completely verbally abused them. I might have made them cry. I'm not sure these days. The point is that this year, my resolution is to put myself in another's shoes. And if I were in those person's shoes and I had the comments that come out of my mouth directed at me, would I appreciate that? And if the answer is no than I have to keep my mouth shut! It's a very hard experiment to try. But I'm hoping that this is a better way to follow through with my resolutions and a better way to be nicer to people. I just think that my sarcasm has gotten out of control like a meth addiction and I'm no longer in control of what I say. This is my rehab. Although it might turn out I walk out the very next day and say, "hell, I'll quit anytime I want to!" but for right now I'm enjoying this social experiment.

Other than that, 2010 has been quite busy. Lots of family time and lots of time spent with friends.  The last month of Frederick has been incredibly sad with parent's coming up and demanding that we stay open, condolences on closing and well wishes. I'm hoping that we can work something out and that perhaps there is a proverbial light in the tunnel. I keep thinking, "i could get a loan and buy Frederick and be the hero! I can do it!" Needless to say, Alice has me on a very tight leash to stop me from rushing into anything. But closing a Gym is very emotional and it's only been 3 days since we've announced it! I can't bear the thought of that last day!

I will write more this year. THat is a goal of mine. I really want to continue to update this blog over and over again. My other goal is to work on my book! And some of the things that I want to put into it I'm taking out of this blog so I think it would be best to actually start writing more and using it more. Other than that, I'll chat soon!