Helpless

There are two things that I've found have helped me over the years. One is to write. The other is to make/drink beer. These days it's more drinking than making but still, making it is very therapeutic. So, I'm putting a beer recipe on here. Enjoy!

Oh, nevermind, it's at the bottom. Haha, you have to read this first!

So everyone says how amazing childbirth is and it's called Labor for a reason. Now, I've never had a child going through my vagina, or a vagina for that matter either, but I've been told it's the most excruciating pain ever. Hence, why god made drugs! Since I will never have that experience and can never empathize with any woman about it, I must find something as equally painful for myself to be put through. This week I found it: watching your child sick. Now guaranteed there isn't any screaming, making constipated faces, or completely emptying your bodily fluids onto someone... okay, it's a lot like that actually. Point is, it's from this little tiny guy that you promised you would take care of and love and protect from any harm! And damnit! You just broke that promise to him. He's sick. And with RSV.

Of course the wonderful doctor at the ER says, "it's RSV" and I have to throw on my understanding face with my understanding nod and my understanding voice as if I should've guessed that all along. And then when Alice or the doctor weren't looking, I'm on WebMd figuring out what the hell this is. RSV means Respiratory Syncytial Virus and I quote, 


"RSV is a very contagious virus and the most common cause of bronchiolitis (inflammation of the small airways in the lung) and pneumonia in children younger than age 1 in the U.S.  Almost all children are infected with the virus by their second birthday, but only a small percentage of children develop severe illness. RSV can infect you several times during your lifetime. After each RSV infection, your body becomes more immune to the virus, but you are never completely immune."


So there you go. Some schmuck gave my kid a virus. It's times like these that you really want to be in a movie where you're back at the scene of the crime completely undetected and the perp walks in and starts talking in the booth behind you about what a great job he/she did coughing on little Sammy the other day and have ya heard?! Kid's got RSV now. And then you stand up and say, "that's my kid you're talking about!" and you punch them so hard you knock em out! And then you punch the other guy and KO his ass just as easily. Of course depending on the movie you're looking at the main guy/girl will have the vaccine that you need to cure Sam and presto, you've saved the day!


Wish I was a superhero.


But nope, just a regular dad and all he can do is keep his son warm, keep his fluids up, keep holding him and telling him that it's okay. 


The other thing that makes this whole sick kid hurt even worse than child-bearing is the mother. Alice has been such a wreck with this. And guaranteed, she's strong when she needs to be. Making quick decisions, standing up for herself and being a amazing mother, but watching her son sick and in pain really just breaks her down. And watching the tears fill up her eyes and roll down her cheeks just breaks my heart. I swore besides protecting him, I would do everything I can to make her happy. I can't keep that promise. I hate breaking that promise. I just feel so helpless that I can't wave my magic wand and cure all ailments. I just sit there, holding him wanting to reach out and hold her too. You can only tell someone that it will be okay so many times. It's a rough time and I know I'm taking a simple RSV and turning it into a huge disease with no cure and no chance of recovery but when you're a first time parent and everything is new to you, yeah, you make lions out of kittens.


His fever is down and he's sleeping and that's the best I can do.






Cranberry Hoppin' Daddy


Malt Extract
6.6 lb Light LME
Grains
1 lb Crystal 20L
Hops
3oz bittering (Cascade)
1.5 oz Aroma
Dry Yeast
Nottingham
Cranberries (6lbs)
Cranberry syrup


Boil water, seep grains, add one can of Malt Extract. Boil again. Add 1 oz. Hops. Boil for 20 min and then add another 1 oz of hops. Boil for another 20 min add second can of Malt Extract and third oz of hops. Boil for 10 min and then add finishing hops for 5 min. Cool. While this is all boiling, I boil the cranberries and then mash them up and throw them into the Fermentor. Then pour wort into fermentor stir and add yeast. Ferment for 7 days and then throw into second fermentor for 7-10 days. When bottling, I add about .5oz of priming sugar to keep the carbonation to a minimum and then add cranberry syrup. Pour the beer into your bottling bucket, bottle and in about 7 days it's ready to drink! Yum!