Okay, I'm adding another post with absolutely nothing to talk about. I really wish my life were a little more exciting or impressive or even any thoughts came to my head so I could write them down more often. Life is going well, Sam is doing great and there really is absolutely nothing to complain about. My Gym Frederick reopens on Monday and I am ready!
This will probably be the shortest entry I will ever write. You're welcome.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Reflection
When do you feel like you are a man?
This is my question for my two readers that I pose for you. Is it, thinking of others, raising a family, turning 18? This big question leads me to ask another one: do I feel like a man?
I know there are jokes you all are either making out loud or in your heads, hah hah hah! But seriously, when I look in the mirror do I see a man or a young adult? I know you can't answer that question but for me, I don't see or feel myself in any sort of adult "man" role. I don't know if it's the job that I do, acting like I'm 5 all day (i love my job!) Or, just the fact that i see my parents on a regular basis and visualize coming to the kitchen on a Saturday morning and eating the delicious raspberry scones my mother has baked while planning an interesting day in D.C. spent with museums, walks through the Mall or flying a kite right by the Monument. I don't know if it's just as you reach the pinnacle of your teenage years you stop growing and start accepting that you'll only be 5'7 for the rest of your life and you will have a stockier build then that stupid lanky kid playing basketball. It's probably a combination of all of these ideas wrapped into one. For me, when I look at myself in the mirror (first I flex my biceps!.. okay, you didn't need to know that...) and then I think about how I'm not a teenager. I'm not a little guy who depends on his dad to drive him to the movies to meet up with friends. I'm not a boy who plays out in the snow all day and then rushes in for Hot Chocolate with mini-marshmallows that mom has waiting for me (hah, actually Alice still does that for me only it's more shoveling snow then making snowmen!) I'm not the guy who walks the halls of his high school, making plans for the weekend and complaining about Ms. Griffin's lack of English teaching skills (true story). I'm no longer that person. I've grown up.
It sucks.
Okay, being older has a lot of advantages. I don't have a bedtime obviously. I'm writing this at 1:30 in the morning (what's up mom and dad?!) but I have to understand the consequence of staying up. That's the thing as grownups that our grownups forgot to mention. There are a lot more consequences for what we do now and we spend a lot of our lives considering them before we make any final decision. Especially money. Before it was carefree, who needs a savings account?! Life insurance? Really? Me? I'm going to take my chances on not getting into a fatal accident thus deterring me away from the decision to get Health insurance. Now, especially being a dad, everything is about where the money goes. If we get the half off formula then we can put that money away for a really nice private school. School! What's the best school to send your kid? What does an overall education mean? Have you noticed that this paragraph mostly has questions in it? Just did it again. That's the thing about being a parent: you have a million questions! And that's only the ones you yourself have. What happens when your little guy starts asking the really hard questions: why is the sky blue? Where do babies come from? and of course, why was i adopted? Okay, I'm pretty sure most of you won't get that last one, but for my sister and I, it was a good question.
I just need a second or two (by second I mean hour) simply to just breathe and remember that answers come when you're ready for them. I have so many questions and I know that taking it slowly and positively I will find my answers. I just wonder if the kids that I teach or the kids in school see me as a man. I have such a hard time accepting the fact that I have reached that "man" phase. I have reached that stage where people say, "you are your own man, now" and that just freaks me out. Being a man means making the tough choices and being responsible and just facing the truth that is in front of you. I just want to look at that mirror and see myself as the little boy that had his Apple Cinnamon Pop-Tart each morning and then went over to Mrs. Pacifico's and watched Gummie Bears with David before climbing on bus 235 to school. I just want to be that kid that had his ass-kicked in Four Square, 1 on 1 basketball, 2 on 2 basketball and team basketball (looking back on my life, I don't think I've ever been good at basketball! And yet it's all I played). I just want to be that boy who only worried about his grade school crush and getting good grades. As a man, there are so many things you have to deal with before getting to Susie's love note stuck in your locker. Let's tackle each one of those at a time. Then I'll unfold that note and read what it said. I hope one day I can look in the mirror and no longer see that boy. I hope one day I can look in the mirror and officially say, "I am a man".
Maybe when I'm 30.
This is my question for my two readers that I pose for you. Is it, thinking of others, raising a family, turning 18? This big question leads me to ask another one: do I feel like a man?
I know there are jokes you all are either making out loud or in your heads, hah hah hah! But seriously, when I look in the mirror do I see a man or a young adult? I know you can't answer that question but for me, I don't see or feel myself in any sort of adult "man" role. I don't know if it's the job that I do, acting like I'm 5 all day (i love my job!) Or, just the fact that i see my parents on a regular basis and visualize coming to the kitchen on a Saturday morning and eating the delicious raspberry scones my mother has baked while planning an interesting day in D.C. spent with museums, walks through the Mall or flying a kite right by the Monument. I don't know if it's just as you reach the pinnacle of your teenage years you stop growing and start accepting that you'll only be 5'7 for the rest of your life and you will have a stockier build then that stupid lanky kid playing basketball. It's probably a combination of all of these ideas wrapped into one. For me, when I look at myself in the mirror (first I flex my biceps!.. okay, you didn't need to know that...) and then I think about how I'm not a teenager. I'm not a little guy who depends on his dad to drive him to the movies to meet up with friends. I'm not a boy who plays out in the snow all day and then rushes in for Hot Chocolate with mini-marshmallows that mom has waiting for me (hah, actually Alice still does that for me only it's more shoveling snow then making snowmen!) I'm not the guy who walks the halls of his high school, making plans for the weekend and complaining about Ms. Griffin's lack of English teaching skills (true story). I'm no longer that person. I've grown up.
It sucks.
Okay, being older has a lot of advantages. I don't have a bedtime obviously. I'm writing this at 1:30 in the morning (what's up mom and dad?!) but I have to understand the consequence of staying up. That's the thing as grownups that our grownups forgot to mention. There are a lot more consequences for what we do now and we spend a lot of our lives considering them before we make any final decision. Especially money. Before it was carefree, who needs a savings account?! Life insurance? Really? Me? I'm going to take my chances on not getting into a fatal accident thus deterring me away from the decision to get Health insurance. Now, especially being a dad, everything is about where the money goes. If we get the half off formula then we can put that money away for a really nice private school. School! What's the best school to send your kid? What does an overall education mean? Have you noticed that this paragraph mostly has questions in it? Just did it again. That's the thing about being a parent: you have a million questions! And that's only the ones you yourself have. What happens when your little guy starts asking the really hard questions: why is the sky blue? Where do babies come from? and of course, why was i adopted? Okay, I'm pretty sure most of you won't get that last one, but for my sister and I, it was a good question.
I just need a second or two (by second I mean hour) simply to just breathe and remember that answers come when you're ready for them. I have so many questions and I know that taking it slowly and positively I will find my answers. I just wonder if the kids that I teach or the kids in school see me as a man. I have such a hard time accepting the fact that I have reached that "man" phase. I have reached that stage where people say, "you are your own man, now" and that just freaks me out. Being a man means making the tough choices and being responsible and just facing the truth that is in front of you. I just want to look at that mirror and see myself as the little boy that had his Apple Cinnamon Pop-Tart each morning and then went over to Mrs. Pacifico's and watched Gummie Bears with David before climbing on bus 235 to school. I just want to be that kid that had his ass-kicked in Four Square, 1 on 1 basketball, 2 on 2 basketball and team basketball (looking back on my life, I don't think I've ever been good at basketball! And yet it's all I played). I just want to be that boy who only worried about his grade school crush and getting good grades. As a man, there are so many things you have to deal with before getting to Susie's love note stuck in your locker. Let's tackle each one of those at a time. Then I'll unfold that note and read what it said. I hope one day I can look in the mirror and no longer see that boy. I hope one day I can look in the mirror and officially say, "I am a man".
Maybe when I'm 30.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Anniversary
I would like to announce that it has been a year since I started posting on here. Thank you to any readers who tuned in and read my rants and my obscure views of life, parenting and beyond. I appreciate it and hope to see much more in the future!
Photographs
I'm attaching some pictures on here of Sam because he is just so darn cute! Plus I'm pretty proud of my camera skills. I am definitely a Canon man! I was tempted to switch to Nikon when they released their D90 but resisted even though having a HD video camera on there is pretty tempting. I would like to offer a piece of advice for anyone buying a camera: go buy one. I spent so many hours trying to figure out what I wanted and what was the best and what I could afford. I finally just made a decision and it worked for me. I love Canon products and I would like to stay with them for the duration of my time as a photographer. So that's my spiel. Let me know if you like the pics!
Siesta
Naps are amazing. That is one thing that I'm shocked we as Americans never picked up: Siestas. OMG, how amazing would a freakin' STOP what you are doing in the middle of the day and just lay the hell down! Wow, I would just think more people would be happy and content and more work would end up being done! Really should look more into this. I think if i ever owned my own business then I would have a siesta period during the day. I guess it would have to be one of those places where you could afford to lose 2 hours of business and yes those employees wouldn't be paid for it, but how much happier would they be? Refreshed. Invigorated. Sam and I took a Siesta today and when I woke up from that hour of sleep I was ready to conquer the world! I felt so alive and so ready to do anything my brain could come up with! So I saw down to write this and then I got bored and went downstairs and watched TV. I'm awesome.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Rest
Oh My goodness my son doesn't sleep. We fought it for a good hour and a half and then decided to get him out of the crib and put him on his bed in his room. Another hour. Actually I drifted off while he stared at the wall as if watching paint dry. And then he rolled over, kicked me a couple of times until I woke up and here we are. So I said, "fine!" and now he's bouncing on his jumperoo and laughing at me that he got his way. Oh man!
I love giving into my child and I hate it. I think there will always be those people that say you shouldn't and those that say that you should. As these days stretch into months I'm finding that the advice from a parent goes only as far as their child's age. Those little nuggets of advice that really seem helpful just don't work anymore. I know that when I meet someone with a four-month old I will be spilling out the wealth of knowledge that I have accumulated these last 8 months, but yeah, it really doesn't mean much.
My son doesn't want to take a nap today.
There could be a hundred reasons why. I fed him too much, I gave him a sweet berry dessert for lunch, he wants to play, he's growing out of his afternoon nap, he is more interested in watching cars drive by, he likes getting his way, he's making a stand for all babies that they won't go down without a fight! I don't know. I really don't care. It's not a matter of why it's just a simple answer: my son doesn't want to take a nap today. And that's fine with me. I've been telling Alice when she says we need to get him into more of a routine, he already is in one. It's called Morning, Afternoon, Evening and Night. We are not routine kind of people and each day something new and exciting is about to happen. That's why we get up in the morning. To see what's in store for us. We used to get a lot of people (okay, honestly, a lot of moms) tell us that there needs to be structure to his day: morning naps, afternoons, feedings at this time, changing times yadda yadda yadda! Maybe their right. But how many people can have a schedule where they still have the routine going on? Their life can't possibly be that predictable and simple. I would like to meet these people and see how happy they are. Whether it's because our lives are different each day or because he follows a routine, my baby boy will smile at you every time he makes eye contact with you! So I'm pretty confident he's happy. That's all I need to know.
I just wanted to write some thoughts about how Sam is giving all the cues of wanting to sleep but even at 8 months old, proving that he'll get his way whether I like it or not! Also to let you readers know that I did my first Partial Mash beer brew the other day and now it's time to really start the ball rolling on All-Grain Beery brewing! Unless this beer tastes terrible in which case I will give up all together and never mention home brewing again!
I love giving into my child and I hate it. I think there will always be those people that say you shouldn't and those that say that you should. As these days stretch into months I'm finding that the advice from a parent goes only as far as their child's age. Those little nuggets of advice that really seem helpful just don't work anymore. I know that when I meet someone with a four-month old I will be spilling out the wealth of knowledge that I have accumulated these last 8 months, but yeah, it really doesn't mean much.
My son doesn't want to take a nap today.
There could be a hundred reasons why. I fed him too much, I gave him a sweet berry dessert for lunch, he wants to play, he's growing out of his afternoon nap, he is more interested in watching cars drive by, he likes getting his way, he's making a stand for all babies that they won't go down without a fight! I don't know. I really don't care. It's not a matter of why it's just a simple answer: my son doesn't want to take a nap today. And that's fine with me. I've been telling Alice when she says we need to get him into more of a routine, he already is in one. It's called Morning, Afternoon, Evening and Night. We are not routine kind of people and each day something new and exciting is about to happen. That's why we get up in the morning. To see what's in store for us. We used to get a lot of people (okay, honestly, a lot of moms) tell us that there needs to be structure to his day: morning naps, afternoons, feedings at this time, changing times yadda yadda yadda! Maybe their right. But how many people can have a schedule where they still have the routine going on? Their life can't possibly be that predictable and simple. I would like to meet these people and see how happy they are. Whether it's because our lives are different each day or because he follows a routine, my baby boy will smile at you every time he makes eye contact with you! So I'm pretty confident he's happy. That's all I need to know.
I just wanted to write some thoughts about how Sam is giving all the cues of wanting to sleep but even at 8 months old, proving that he'll get his way whether I like it or not! Also to let you readers know that I did my first Partial Mash beer brew the other day and now it's time to really start the ball rolling on All-Grain Beery brewing! Unless this beer tastes terrible in which case I will give up all together and never mention home brewing again!
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