I really feel bad about not writing much these days but I lack words. I'm trying to think of something really insightful but I keep coming up blank. I guess I am just sort of writing words that jump from my brain to my fingers and forming sentences. Not even good sentences. That was one right there. And that was another one. Okay, I'm done.
Buy Adele's new album.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
if it's collaborative why i am i writing this all by myself?!
Okay, so I haven't written this in a while but I have a really good excuse! I have been writing up the wahzoo for my intro portofolio to get into the Master's of Arts in Teaching program at Frostburg and I have been pouring my soul out so that they know how right I am for this program. I figured while I was writing about how my dedication to the field of education is a collaborative bridge builder i would share what i wrote with you all. I hope this also gives an insight to how much work this thing is taking and it's only the intro. THE INTRO! All this work and I might not even get into this program. However, I hope this small taste of what you read will be enough to get my foot into that proverbial front door.
In this portion i have to explain a life experience that is collaborative. I have chosen to write about raising Sam. Sounds like something two people would have to collaborate on right?! Well here we go!
I want to spend this portion describing my biggest accomplishment and share with you how it has helped me grow as a teacher and as a man. To do this I need to give you a little history of how it all started.
My fiancé and I met in Boston in the summer of 2008 for a conference. If there was such as a thing as love at first sight then we definitely met that cliché. We both worked for the same owner of My Gym (I was assistant director in Columbia, Maryland and she was Co-director in Frederick) and yet for the past 2 years that we had worked for our owner, never once did we meet. I’m sure there are a million reasons why she never introduced us (it never crossed her mind, we lived in different cities, she didn’t like us that much, etc.) whatever the reasons were, it was a true shame because the two of us are incredibly similar. Needless to say, when we met at the airport for the first time to fly to Boston, we shook hands and the rest became history. We spent the entire weekend talking about everything under the sun; from My Gym to relationships to addictions, we never ran out of exciting and interesting topics to talk about. We spent most of the conference engaged in our own conversations and to this day I have never met someone as interesting as she.
We fall madly in love so very soon after starting to date that is actually took us by surprise. We thought this would be a casual dating experience and within weeks of meeting, we were driving the 77.15 miles between us every night after work to be with each other. I think at the time it was some sort of romantic fantasy of mine to meet someone and prove my worth by driving the distance and calling that my dragon. It sort of becomes a misty haze when I try to fathom my reasons for why we gave so much to the oil companies during those first couple of months in our relationship. The only thing that I knew was that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.
On October 24th, 2008, I heard two words that completely changed my life: it’s positive. I nod my head at this right now as I reminisce the dumb waiter falling down my stomach and my jaw hitting the ground. Actually, reliving it, I’m surprised I didn’t faint. I am going to be a father. I am sure many of us have witnessed that happy occasion where the man and woman hug with tears coming out of their eyes. I promise you that was not us. In fact, I wasn’t even in the same room as my fiancé. We were working when she took the test. After the initial shock wave calmed down and I was able to actually count my pulse, my mind decided to hit me with another shock wave, this one filled with questions: we love each other but how much? I’ve only known this person for three months what if it doesn’t work out? What have I gotten myself into? I’m too young to raise a child and I have this career going on, what do I do? Every fear was racing through our minds. What could we do? So we took a couple of deep breaths, said I love you, hung up the phone and went back to our Halloween parties at our respective gyms and put on a happy and very much needed brave face.
Over the next 9 months, we spent a lot of time learning even more about each other than before. First we had to meet our significant other’s parents and break the news. Well it took a little bit longer than the first meeting but I won’t get into those details. We checked off taking a vacation together on our chimerical list, shared holidays, I even job transferred down to Frederick to live together. We had so much uncertainty going against us the only certainty we had left was that we loved each other enough to try. Our son was born on July 14th, 2009 and to this day, he is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. Raising a child with a person I am just beginning to know is my biggest life experience. And there are plenty of mistakes made on both of our parts and learning to be a father and a mother is an experience itself. We have spent a lot of time talking about what approach we will take in terms of discipline, nurture, nature, even as far as cloth diapers and elimination communication. Both parents involved have opinions and we have worked through our opinions to collaborate on the best choices for our son. I am new at this dad stuff but I do believe that is what being a parent (and a man) is all about. It has been our goal that my fiancé and I have always put first: His well-being is more important than being right. As our son grows I begin to think perhaps our relationship is stronger because of having Sam so fresh into it. Some may claim that can be a downfall and I am sure statistically speaking it is a reasoned risk. For us, it gave us a new chapter to spend countless hours into the night discussing. How would we raise our son? What sports will he play? What will his interests be? Will he have his mother’s beautiful smile and his father’s wit? Will he laugh a lot or cry a lot? These were only the first night’s questions. As I said, we spend a lot of time talking about him.
I know there will be many life experiences that I will encounter, some of which will slap me in the face as soon as I start the MAT program. I believe that raising a child has been a big enough experience to give me confidence that I can handle anything that comes my way. Raising a child is a collaborative activity and I believe that if I can find a way to successfully raise my son, I can find a way to educate another man’s son. I am hoping as time goes on that I will continue to have that sense of accomplishment and hopefully make my son [and fiancé] proud.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
A picture is worth 1001 words
This blurb was stolen from my long lost friend Susan. I commented back to her about this and it made me think some more.
sfck said... "This year I want to take more pictures and actually print them out. I want to take the time to transcribe the feeling I had when I took that picture. There are so many wonderful moments I've captured, and the only reason I can experience the depth of that moment, is through the simple words that were outlined below. Even now, looking through college pictures is getting harder. I am starting to forget people's names and only barely remember their familiar faces. One day I will miss so many things I take for granted right now. I will crave to be standing in the shoes that cover my feet. But when I see this picture and read the words that bring the memory back, I will feel comforted in knowing that I took the time to document it well. This is a high resolution, and it will definitely take a concerted effort, but I'm ready for a new challenge.
The blog will continue to document these journeys."
The passage made me remember how much has gone through my life and how I've treated it like water. It just passes by me and i don't even blink. Even now with my son, how much time has gone by and I've just missed him growing up? While I've been with him every step of the way (including his actual steps!) i just feel as though life has breezed through without realizing I'm here. Sam will be 18 months on Friday and with that realization I start trying to remember what he was like when he was 15 months/12 months/ 6 months/ when he was born. It's like waking up from a foggy dream. You are trying to remember the details but really you can just pick the settings and the surroundings. And that extends past the child raising years. After reading Susan's attempts at remembering faces I look through my old college photos and try to remember these people. I can still remember most of them and remember what we were doing inside the picture. (I think I have a filing cabinet for a memory sometimes because I can be really good about remembering these sort of things!) For me, it isn't about trying to remember who these people are or where I was when the photo was taken. For me, it's about the feelings that I felt when the pictures were taken. How happy I was or how frustrated. Was that photo a lie? Did we try and attempt a Norman Rockwell painting and create this candid shot of everyone there happy and full of life? Or was it the truth.
As I said in reply to Susan's blog, i think the photo can be a lie. At that moment, I think the essence of who we were was captured but not the correct sequence of events? There is a picture from college of a buddy of mine and I in mid struggle, posing in our wrestler moves. We look like two guys just having a great night and practicing being best friends. An hour before I had stupidly admitted to a girl that I had really deep feelings for her and she shot me down. So this buddy and I went out to a party and proceeded to "forget my troubles." But no one knows that about this picture. It's a cover-up shot, something to make my life look happier than it really is. These pictures shade the truth because when we're older we don't want to remember feeling sad or depressed, rather, we want to remember how much love we had in our lives and how we got something out of it. Something that made living this long worth it.
I look at these photos and I do remember pretty much everyone. There were a couple names who escaped me (but being that I probably have no less than 2 degrees of separation from them, i'm confident I could find out who they are!) Regardless, I'm not too concerned with remembering them. I think sometimes we surround ourselves with people who are in our proximity but not necessarily ones who will bring us higher up in life. Especially in college, your next door neighbor or your roommate was someone you hung out with not because they were going to be your BFF but because they were assigned to you and their availability was convenient. Not to say those relationships don't become strong over the years, but it's not so important to remember these people's names but to hold on to the fact that you know at that moment the picture was taken, you felt happy/sad/curious/relieved whatever the emotion was. at the end of our lives, our feelings are all that really matter and not how many people we befriended on facebook, or how many social gatherings we were at. We practice our emotions all throughout our lives and taking pictures remind us of how easy it is to do it. Enjoy knowing that your practice has paid off and the faces that you can remember are probably for a good reason.
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It should be the voted the best movie of 2010. It was that good! The ideas behind it really make you think and the end was just a great way to wrap it up. DiCaprio really puts his whole self in each of his movies and this was definitely no disappointment! Ellen Page was a great addition and seeing her in a new light away from her Juno days gave her a lot of respect as an actress. I am really impressed that Hollywood is still able to bring out these movies that can make you think, captivate you and touch you. If you want to know more about the plot please let me know!
The blog will continue to document these journeys."
The passage made me remember how much has gone through my life and how I've treated it like water. It just passes by me and i don't even blink. Even now with my son, how much time has gone by and I've just missed him growing up? While I've been with him every step of the way (including his actual steps!) i just feel as though life has breezed through without realizing I'm here. Sam will be 18 months on Friday and with that realization I start trying to remember what he was like when he was 15 months/12 months/ 6 months/ when he was born. It's like waking up from a foggy dream. You are trying to remember the details but really you can just pick the settings and the surroundings. And that extends past the child raising years. After reading Susan's attempts at remembering faces I look through my old college photos and try to remember these people. I can still remember most of them and remember what we were doing inside the picture. (I think I have a filing cabinet for a memory sometimes because I can be really good about remembering these sort of things!) For me, it isn't about trying to remember who these people are or where I was when the photo was taken. For me, it's about the feelings that I felt when the pictures were taken. How happy I was or how frustrated. Was that photo a lie? Did we try and attempt a Norman Rockwell painting and create this candid shot of everyone there happy and full of life? Or was it the truth.
As I said in reply to Susan's blog, i think the photo can be a lie. At that moment, I think the essence of who we were was captured but not the correct sequence of events? There is a picture from college of a buddy of mine and I in mid struggle, posing in our wrestler moves. We look like two guys just having a great night and practicing being best friends. An hour before I had stupidly admitted to a girl that I had really deep feelings for her and she shot me down. So this buddy and I went out to a party and proceeded to "forget my troubles." But no one knows that about this picture. It's a cover-up shot, something to make my life look happier than it really is. These pictures shade the truth because when we're older we don't want to remember feeling sad or depressed, rather, we want to remember how much love we had in our lives and how we got something out of it. Something that made living this long worth it.
I look at these photos and I do remember pretty much everyone. There were a couple names who escaped me (but being that I probably have no less than 2 degrees of separation from them, i'm confident I could find out who they are!) Regardless, I'm not too concerned with remembering them. I think sometimes we surround ourselves with people who are in our proximity but not necessarily ones who will bring us higher up in life. Especially in college, your next door neighbor or your roommate was someone you hung out with not because they were going to be your BFF but because they were assigned to you and their availability was convenient. Not to say those relationships don't become strong over the years, but it's not so important to remember these people's names but to hold on to the fact that you know at that moment the picture was taken, you felt happy/sad/curious/relieved whatever the emotion was. at the end of our lives, our feelings are all that really matter and not how many people we befriended on facebook, or how many social gatherings we were at. We practice our emotions all throughout our lives and taking pictures remind us of how easy it is to do it. Enjoy knowing that your practice has paid off and the faces that you can remember are probably for a good reason.
_____________________________________________
It should be the voted the best movie of 2010. It was that good! The ideas behind it really make you think and the end was just a great way to wrap it up. DiCaprio really puts his whole self in each of his movies and this was definitely no disappointment! Ellen Page was a great addition and seeing her in a new light away from her Juno days gave her a lot of respect as an actress. I am really impressed that Hollywood is still able to bring out these movies that can make you think, captivate you and touch you. If you want to know more about the plot please let me know!
Saturday, December 25, 2010
what are your resolutions?
So one of my new years resolutions has been to keep up with my Grateful journal. Grateful journal you ask? What in the world is that? Why it is a book that each day i write one thing that I am grateful for. The thing I really like about this book is that it doesn't have to be something really meaningful. One day I can write how thankful i am that i found my blue socks to match my blue pants or other days i can say how thankful i am for peanut butter. it's really cool to be able to express myself in a way that doesn't have to involve a lot of thinking. (let's be honest here people, i don't do too much of that!) it does give me the chance to have a more positive attitude on my life. i find so much negativity and a lot of that comes from me. i know that i have a sarcastic dry wit about me and a lot of that humor that expunges from my mouth is making fun of others or insulting the ones i love. i think that i create this bubble around me to ensure that people don't get too close. i really don't know why. you would think it would have something to do with people always leaving me throughout my life but that really isn't the case. i guess i like an air of mystery surrounding me and keeping people at bay offers that? who knows. i think that it in effect is creating a situation where i negatively see the world. i would like to be a little more positive. Hence, the grateful journal. Why not try out something that really helps me be a more positive person and maybe in turn my bubble will slowly start to evaporate!
Any other thoughts on resolutions? My 2011 plate is looking pretty full right now so I would appreciate easy ones!
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This is a really good book but I have no more use for it. I don't know if you know anyone who needs it for school but I am trying to sell it. If by chance you go to Amazon look for trikbstudios (my account) and click on my book! I would really appreciate it.
Any other thoughts on resolutions? My 2011 plate is looking pretty full right now so I would appreciate easy ones!
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This is a really good book but I have no more use for it. I don't know if you know anyone who needs it for school but I am trying to sell it. If by chance you go to Amazon look for trikbstudios (my account) and click on my book! I would really appreciate it.
Monday, December 13, 2010
christmas card 10
Bright Blue Snowflake Christmas Card
Personalize the christmas season with Christmas photo cards.
View the entire collection of cards.
Monday, November 15, 2010
I'm starting back up! It's been too long!
What?! My last post was like 3 months ago?! That's crazy! I'm sorry to my one reader aka. my mother for not updating this! I've been going back to school this fall and writing all these papers really leaves little time for writing other things. Although, I do have a lot to say!
I decided that I am foregoing my one word titles on here. It was a dramatic idea but really, a really long title can do just as much damage so why the hell not?!
I got engaged a week ago. Thank you. While I was getting ready for the big moment, I've been spending some time about how you get from one point to the other. and who is to blame? I'm going to spell out a timeline for you: here I am with my family that I have created. Alice, Sam and I living in our little house and having grand adventures. Wait, how did I get here? What exactly did I do to reach this moment? Let's see: having sam led from meeting alice which i got from working at my gym which never would have happened if i hadn't gone to maine which wouldn't have happened if i hadn't worked at the camp which wouldn't have happened if i hadn't sold books which wouldn't have happened if i hadn't gone to JMU which wouldn't have happened if i hadn't seen their marching band in ninth grade. it all comes down to ninth grade. that's when i started my life. interesting.
I found following this timeline really fun because I can trace it back so far! I guess that's why people are obsessed with genealogy and why I never had that luxury. I guess I had to find something to entertain myself.
I guess what I was thinking is that it isn't so much that I started at one point and arrived at another but that each point I arrived at, I had a choice to go one road or the other. I can look at each of these steps that I took and remember that I made those choices to go down that path and not the other one. When it comes to Maine, I was actually between that and Boston. But I felt that I wasn't ready for Boston and that Maine was a more comfortable approach. With Alice, I was at a point where I could pursue a relationship with her or stay in Prauge which I might still be had it not been for her. My Gym happened because I was in Maine but returning back to Maryland I was on the fence with either going full time in Columbia or pursuing a chance to teach English in Korea. I decided to stay close to my family and friends rather than live in a place where I potentially could have been completely isolated. These are the roads that I am talking about! You control your fate. I control my fate. It isn't written, we weren't destined to meet, I choose my path and I accepted the responsibilities that came with it. Could I be at a different place in my life? Absolutely! But it's not like a choose your own adventure where later on you can go back and read about the other path that you could've taken! This is your life and if you don't like it, change it again! We don't get to go back but work to changing the future. And while I look back I really enjoy tracing the path. But, I am not interested in grabbing the nearest time machine and changing certain events in my life (well maybe I wouldn't have bought that levatron from FAO Schwartz in high school...) but seriously, I am only interested in reminiscing about the good times. I love where I am at and I can't wait to see what lies ahead.
Couple of items of interest for you:
Decision Points
The Gift
Kindle Wireless Reading Device, Wi-Fi, 6" Display, Graphite - Latest Generation
I decided that I am foregoing my one word titles on here. It was a dramatic idea but really, a really long title can do just as much damage so why the hell not?!
I got engaged a week ago. Thank you. While I was getting ready for the big moment, I've been spending some time about how you get from one point to the other. and who is to blame? I'm going to spell out a timeline for you: here I am with my family that I have created. Alice, Sam and I living in our little house and having grand adventures. Wait, how did I get here? What exactly did I do to reach this moment? Let's see: having sam led from meeting alice which i got from working at my gym which never would have happened if i hadn't gone to maine which wouldn't have happened if i hadn't worked at the camp which wouldn't have happened if i hadn't sold books which wouldn't have happened if i hadn't gone to JMU which wouldn't have happened if i hadn't seen their marching band in ninth grade. it all comes down to ninth grade. that's when i started my life. interesting.
I found following this timeline really fun because I can trace it back so far! I guess that's why people are obsessed with genealogy and why I never had that luxury. I guess I had to find something to entertain myself.
I guess what I was thinking is that it isn't so much that I started at one point and arrived at another but that each point I arrived at, I had a choice to go one road or the other. I can look at each of these steps that I took and remember that I made those choices to go down that path and not the other one. When it comes to Maine, I was actually between that and Boston. But I felt that I wasn't ready for Boston and that Maine was a more comfortable approach. With Alice, I was at a point where I could pursue a relationship with her or stay in Prauge which I might still be had it not been for her. My Gym happened because I was in Maine but returning back to Maryland I was on the fence with either going full time in Columbia or pursuing a chance to teach English in Korea. I decided to stay close to my family and friends rather than live in a place where I potentially could have been completely isolated. These are the roads that I am talking about! You control your fate. I control my fate. It isn't written, we weren't destined to meet, I choose my path and I accepted the responsibilities that came with it. Could I be at a different place in my life? Absolutely! But it's not like a choose your own adventure where later on you can go back and read about the other path that you could've taken! This is your life and if you don't like it, change it again! We don't get to go back but work to changing the future. And while I look back I really enjoy tracing the path. But, I am not interested in grabbing the nearest time machine and changing certain events in my life (well maybe I wouldn't have bought that levatron from FAO Schwartz in high school...) but seriously, I am only interested in reminiscing about the good times. I love where I am at and I can't wait to see what lies ahead.
Couple of items of interest for you:
Decision Points
The Gift
Kindle Wireless Reading Device, Wi-Fi, 6" Display, Graphite - Latest Generation
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Wistful
I was under the impression that crawling was going to change my life. Well at least my son's life. I was convinced that there would be this milestone that the heavens would part and say, congratulations!
I was very disapointed when that did not happen.
I was astonished when my son turned one. I mean had it really been an entire year?! This absolutely could not be possible since yesterday I was holding him in my arms after the nurse brought him to me. I could not think that my little boy was approaching toddlerhood and I've just spent the last twelve months raising him. I will say that when he did turn one we had a huge party and that felt as close to the heavens saying "congratulations" as possible.
I also thought that when my son started walking that the Mayor of Frederick was going to come over to my house to present me with the keys to the city because I had just helped my son accomplish the biggest accomplishment a human can make.
And when it didn't I began to wonder if anyone actually cared that my child is doing these great things?
I keep hoping that every little thing that he does such as crawling, talking, taking steps, throwing food off his plate onto the ground would be nationally recognized and the live audience in my living room would "ooh" and "ahh" over him clapping his hands when he sings along to if you're happy and you know it on "Your Baby Can Read" which I add my little review down at the bottom. I guess watching Jon and Kate which is now Kate plus 8 has really warped my view on how much people don't watch my life.
Surprisingly, I'm okay with that.
I truly thrive on those moments and I really feel bad for those parents that don't get to enjoy it. It took a lot of work on my end to truly appreciate it too. I read a lot of baby books. A LOT of baby books. At the end of Alice's pregnancy I was the Encyclopedia Brown on babies! (fantastic series if you're looking to get your child into mysteries!) I could tell you about different ways to handle colic all the way up to what happens when your partner's water breaks in an elevator! I knew the five genetic markers to look for when looking for down syndrome in Utero and I pretty much had Dr. Seuss' book Oh, Baby, the Places You'll Go!: A book to be read in Utero
memorized by the time Sam arrived. Yep, I knew it all. And after all this work I've put in to be a good dad, to be a prepared dad, to be an excited dad, I felt no connections to this child. I spent hours staring at him while he was asleep saying to myself, "he's your son, he's your son, he's your son, he's your son..." over and over until the words sounded more like, "son heyore me bob" and I couldn't piece the sentence together. A lot of dad's go through this and at first it really bothered me. I truly believe (besides breast feeding) that a dad can do anything that a mom can do. So why is the instant bond and love lacking in the father? Alice once said that she's been literally attached to this baby for 10 months so it's only natural to see the kid after all that time he's been hiding away! I found as the weeks went past that it wasn't about trying to find this Vulcan mind-melding technique (quick sidenote: my spell check didn't recognize the word Utero but recognized Vulcan. 10 bucks says that guy who wrote the spell check program is a major dork!) but rather establish a bond that only a father can have with his son.
I can't tell you how to do that!
It's probably the biggest piece of advice a dad can give an expecting dad, yet it's a case by case basis. I know that it's something that you work on but careful not to strain yourself. You want to feel connected to your kid and you want it immediately! I say, focus on the love that you want to have for your child and focus on the idea of being a father. Also, constantly stare at him. For me, having Sam open his eyes and smile at my face was the first step that I'm getting it right. He's recognizing me as his dad and it one day just hit me that I'm recognizing him as my son. And when that subconscious thought becomes conscious you really do feel like a father. So I don't need you President Obama to land Air Force One on my lawn and congratulate me on having a son (although, why didn't you damnit!) because I know that no-matter what my child is doing, he knows who is going to be there for him, take care of him and love him. My ipod will play "Hail the Conquering Hero" in the background and I'll make Alice throw confetti on us, as my son and I dance around the living room. There's my fanfare and that's all I need.
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Thumbs Up
Your Baby Can Read (5 DVD Set and more)
It's hard to tell if this is actually working for him as he's so young still and still hasn't put into motion the whole speaking part of life. I will say that he watches with eyes glued to the TV especially when a word like "clap" appears. I do believe he is understanding words, whether he can say them or not, but he understands the action. These videos really do break down each word and help the child learn through repetition and explanation. Common children songs are on here, "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "Happy and You Know it" but it adds to the playfulness and encouragement of learning can be fun! We try not to let him watch more than an hour each day or one DVD so I don't know how much of that is slowing him down. I just assume that it might take him a bit longer than an older child to learn all of these words, but his brain won't melt from staring at the television for three hours a day!
I was very disapointed when that did not happen.
I was astonished when my son turned one. I mean had it really been an entire year?! This absolutely could not be possible since yesterday I was holding him in my arms after the nurse brought him to me. I could not think that my little boy was approaching toddlerhood and I've just spent the last twelve months raising him. I will say that when he did turn one we had a huge party and that felt as close to the heavens saying "congratulations" as possible.
I also thought that when my son started walking that the Mayor of Frederick was going to come over to my house to present me with the keys to the city because I had just helped my son accomplish the biggest accomplishment a human can make.
And when it didn't I began to wonder if anyone actually cared that my child is doing these great things?
I keep hoping that every little thing that he does such as crawling, talking, taking steps, throwing food off his plate onto the ground would be nationally recognized and the live audience in my living room would "ooh" and "ahh" over him clapping his hands when he sings along to if you're happy and you know it on "Your Baby Can Read" which I add my little review down at the bottom. I guess watching Jon and Kate which is now Kate plus 8 has really warped my view on how much people don't watch my life.
Surprisingly, I'm okay with that.
I truly thrive on those moments and I really feel bad for those parents that don't get to enjoy it. It took a lot of work on my end to truly appreciate it too. I read a lot of baby books. A LOT of baby books. At the end of Alice's pregnancy I was the Encyclopedia Brown on babies! (fantastic series if you're looking to get your child into mysteries!) I could tell you about different ways to handle colic all the way up to what happens when your partner's water breaks in an elevator! I knew the five genetic markers to look for when looking for down syndrome in Utero and I pretty much had Dr. Seuss' book Oh, Baby, the Places You'll Go!: A book to be read in Utero
memorized by the time Sam arrived. Yep, I knew it all. And after all this work I've put in to be a good dad, to be a prepared dad, to be an excited dad, I felt no connections to this child. I spent hours staring at him while he was asleep saying to myself, "he's your son, he's your son, he's your son, he's your son..." over and over until the words sounded more like, "son heyore me bob" and I couldn't piece the sentence together. A lot of dad's go through this and at first it really bothered me. I truly believe (besides breast feeding) that a dad can do anything that a mom can do. So why is the instant bond and love lacking in the father? Alice once said that she's been literally attached to this baby for 10 months so it's only natural to see the kid after all that time he's been hiding away! I found as the weeks went past that it wasn't about trying to find this Vulcan mind-melding technique (quick sidenote: my spell check didn't recognize the word Utero but recognized Vulcan. 10 bucks says that guy who wrote the spell check program is a major dork!) but rather establish a bond that only a father can have with his son.I can't tell you how to do that!
It's probably the biggest piece of advice a dad can give an expecting dad, yet it's a case by case basis. I know that it's something that you work on but careful not to strain yourself. You want to feel connected to your kid and you want it immediately! I say, focus on the love that you want to have for your child and focus on the idea of being a father. Also, constantly stare at him. For me, having Sam open his eyes and smile at my face was the first step that I'm getting it right. He's recognizing me as his dad and it one day just hit me that I'm recognizing him as my son. And when that subconscious thought becomes conscious you really do feel like a father. So I don't need you President Obama to land Air Force One on my lawn and congratulate me on having a son (although, why didn't you damnit!) because I know that no-matter what my child is doing, he knows who is going to be there for him, take care of him and love him. My ipod will play "Hail the Conquering Hero" in the background and I'll make Alice throw confetti on us, as my son and I dance around the living room. There's my fanfare and that's all I need.
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Thumbs Up
Your Baby Can Read (5 DVD Set and more)It's hard to tell if this is actually working for him as he's so young still and still hasn't put into motion the whole speaking part of life. I will say that he watches with eyes glued to the TV especially when a word like "clap" appears. I do believe he is understanding words, whether he can say them or not, but he understands the action. These videos really do break down each word and help the child learn through repetition and explanation. Common children songs are on here, "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "Happy and You Know it" but it adds to the playfulness and encouragement of learning can be fun! We try not to let him watch more than an hour each day or one DVD so I don't know how much of that is slowing him down. I just assume that it might take him a bit longer than an older child to learn all of these words, but his brain won't melt from staring at the television for three hours a day!
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Printer
An excellent printer for the at home office. I have some experience with printers, both laser and ink jet through my time with FedEx Kinkos. This is one of my favorite at home printers. I think the actual speed of black and white is incredibly impressive (31 ppm) and the color is ridiculously close behind (25 ppm). The thing that I really appreciate about this printer is the ease of buttons that are on the front console. They tell you exactly what you need to know without confusion. The brightly lit screen really helps as well. A couple of the Brother models boast low energy, fast document feeders and wireless networking, but their screen is so small that the simple tasks are hard to do because you're squinting your eyes to read the command! The HP is incredibly simple to use and it's actually quite light! I definitely think HP got this model right and I work with Macs! Very Mac friendly which just makes my life so much easier!
Saturday, August 14, 2010
romance
I'm standing in the rain last night with Alice. We have an umbrella over our heads and the patter of the rain around us is the only sound going on. We're staring at the street light at the edge of our street and watching the cool rain cut through the light. I'm not the biggest fan of rain but being huddled under our tiny umbrella watching it, feeling it and listening to it I gotta admit it was incredibly romantic.
And I am a big fan of romance.
Soaking it all in, I really hope that there are people out there doing exactly what we were: being a couple in love. I know I'm getting so very sappy and no need to worry about me going into a juvenile Tom cruise moment of jumping up and down on Oprah's couch declaring my love, but I do really enjoy these times. I love having time to just fully appreciate being in a relationship and sharing something as simple as an umbrella. It's really those little things. I always make the statement that the little annoying things break up couples but I also believe that little wonderful thongs make the relationship worth it. And standing under that umbrella in the dark with only a streetlamp to illuminate the falling rain, that little moment really became a big memory to me.
I said earlier that I hope other people are doing exactly what we're doing and I meant it. I believe in our ability to love. We want companionship, friendship, romance, excitement, connection. We want someone in our lives to share our lives. And at the end of the day, when the stress is gone, when the lights have gone down, and the temperature is a little cooler, nothing makes you smile brighter than staring at your loved one under an umbrella, in the dark with only a streetlamp illuminating the falling rain.
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Thumbs up:
These are as simple as you can get! But my child absolutely loves them! It has probably been the most consistent toy that he has played with throughout his life. The focused concentration on his face as he stacks each block up and then figures out the pattern, shape and size is absolutely astounding. There are so many other brighter, fancier, expensive toys out there. This is a simple toy that really helps your child practice "get it right". I recommend this as a great toy for your child to buy or a great toy to buy someone else's' child!
And I am a big fan of romance.
Soaking it all in, I really hope that there are people out there doing exactly what we were: being a couple in love. I know I'm getting so very sappy and no need to worry about me going into a juvenile Tom cruise moment of jumping up and down on Oprah's couch declaring my love, but I do really enjoy these times. I love having time to just fully appreciate being in a relationship and sharing something as simple as an umbrella. It's really those little things. I always make the statement that the little annoying things break up couples but I also believe that little wonderful thongs make the relationship worth it. And standing under that umbrella in the dark with only a streetlamp to illuminate the falling rain, that little moment really became a big memory to me.
I said earlier that I hope other people are doing exactly what we're doing and I meant it. I believe in our ability to love. We want companionship, friendship, romance, excitement, connection. We want someone in our lives to share our lives. And at the end of the day, when the stress is gone, when the lights have gone down, and the temperature is a little cooler, nothing makes you smile brighter than staring at your loved one under an umbrella, in the dark with only a streetlamp illuminating the falling rain.
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Thumbs up:
These are as simple as you can get! But my child absolutely loves them! It has probably been the most consistent toy that he has played with throughout his life. The focused concentration on his face as he stacks each block up and then figures out the pattern, shape and size is absolutely astounding. There are so many other brighter, fancier, expensive toys out there. This is a simple toy that really helps your child practice "get it right". I recommend this as a great toy for your child to buy or a great toy to buy someone else's' child!
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Thumbs down:
Thumbs down:
I will not go as far as to say Parents magazine teaches us nothing! In fact most of the information in it provides quite a good resource for raising children... if you're a mom. Parents magazine still cannot get it through their head that it takes TWO parents to raise a child. Personal views aside about single parents, if you live in a household where two parents are raising children, yeah, the magazine needs to cover both sides. I don't want to hear about how they put in these snippy articles of how dad came home early from work and took Jonny and Sidney out to the zoo and earned himself "father of the year". No self-respecting dad should want to be categorized like that. And if you are raising your kids for that kind of award well fuck you! Be a parent and not a trophy holder! And that is what Parents magazine needs to get through their heads. There are no helpful dad sections! There are no articles from a father's perspective. Help us out here! Maybe if you do, I won't just browse through your stupid magazine waiting in line to pay for the groceries I'm buying in my weekly shopping trips for my family!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Nostalgic
Got hit with the nostalgic bug the other day. I'm looking at a friend of mine photos of all the amazing places she has been in the last two years. I just remembering thinking that was my dream. Travel the world. See every possible sight out there. Have that cliche world map in my room with pins in all the places I wanted to visit. I think how I wish I had the time to see all of these. I wish I had the energy and the life to do it. As another friend had once said to another friend when he claimed that she wasn't in the "real world yet" "I don't have a 9-5 job true, but I have been to over 22 countries, lived in three of them, worked in four, made friends that will stay with me for the rest of my life and established at least 14 different connections of international status including ambassadors. So yeah, I have seen more of the real world than most!"
I don't know about you but that's bragging rights there.
I know how wonderful my life is and I'm not complaining one bit. The point is, Since moving out of my parents I have couched surf, lived in my jeep (awww, I miss my jeep now too!) traveled up and down the east coast, moved from Virginia, to Maine to Maryland again, seen all kinds of palaces and laid all kinds of girls. I have finally found a place and time where I can call home again and I wouldn't trade it for anything. And even though i have declared that, believe it and stand by it, I just have those moments where I look at these places and I think of what it would be like to take a picture with the pyramids behind you, or the tower of Pisa, or the Louvre or the yadda yadda yadda! I'm a traveler at heart and yearning to travel beats inside of me. And I know that o will get to these places and when I do I will have a family to share it with. I am so excited about the future of being able to take a picture of Sam with big Ben behind him. These thoughts really help me realize of the kind of man I'm becoming and really wake me up to the fact that I'm part of my family. The great thing about dreaming about seeing the world is that now my dreams include a family to share it with.
And that's my bragging rights.
Sophie is the greatest toy in the world... if you're not my child. But everything about the giraffe is amazing as far as the organic material, the squeak sounds (which are apparently suppose to encourage your child to bite her, idk) the smell and the texture. For some reason, my kid didn't find Sophie interesting at all. My viewpoint: if I'm paying $17.25 for this toy he damn well better start being interested! Meanwhile, a friend of mine daughter won't put the giraffe down and it is rated one of the best toys for infants so I say give it a shot. Or get a $2 teething ring and call it Sophie to keep up with the Jones'.
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