what are your resolutions?

So one of my new years resolutions has been to keep up with my Grateful journal. Grateful journal you ask? What in the world is that? Why it is a book that each day i write one thing that I am grateful for. The thing I really like about this book is that it doesn't have to be something really meaningful. One day I can write how thankful i am that i found my blue socks to match my blue pants or other days i can say how thankful i am for peanut butter. it's really cool to be able to express myself in a way that doesn't have to involve a lot of thinking. (let's be honest here people, i don't do too much of that!) it does give me the chance to have a more positive attitude on my life. i find so much negativity and a lot of that comes from me. i know that i have a sarcastic dry wit about me and a lot of that humor that expunges from my mouth is making fun of others or insulting the ones i love. i think that i create this bubble around me to ensure that people don't get too close. i really don't know why. you would think it would have something to do with people always leaving me throughout my life but that really isn't the case. i guess i like an air of mystery surrounding me and keeping people at bay offers that? who knows. i think that it in effect is creating a situation where i negatively see the world. i would like to be a little more positive. Hence, the grateful journal. Why not try out something that really helps me be a more positive person and maybe in turn my bubble will slowly start to evaporate!
Any other thoughts on resolutions? My 2011 plate is looking pretty full right now so I would appreciate easy ones!

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This is a really good book but I have no more use for it. I don't know if you know anyone who needs it for school but I am trying to sell it. If by chance you go to Amazon look for trikbstudios (my account) and click on my book! I would really appreciate it.

christmas card 10

Bright Blue Snowflake Christmas Card

Personalize the christmas season with Christmas photo cards.

View the entire collection of cards.

I'm starting back up! It's been too long!

What?! My last post was like 3 months ago?! That's crazy! I'm sorry to my one reader aka. my mother for not updating this! I've been going back to school this fall and writing all these papers really leaves little time for writing other things. Although, I do have a lot to say!

I decided that I am foregoing my one word titles on here. It was a dramatic idea but really, a really long title can do just as much damage so why the hell not?!

I got engaged a week ago. Thank you. While I was getting ready for the big moment, I've been spending some time about how you get from one point to the other. and who is to blame? I'm going to spell out a timeline for you: here I am with my family that I have created. Alice, Sam and I living in our little house and having grand adventures. Wait, how did I get here? What exactly did I do to reach this moment? Let's see: having sam led from meeting alice which i got from working at my gym which never would have happened if i hadn't gone to maine which wouldn't have happened if i hadn't worked at the camp which wouldn't have happened if i hadn't sold books which wouldn't have happened if i hadn't gone to JMU which wouldn't have happened if i hadn't seen their marching band in ninth grade. it all comes down to ninth grade. that's when i started my life. interesting.

I found following this timeline really fun because I can trace it back so far! I guess that's why people are obsessed with genealogy and why I never had that luxury. I guess I had to find something to entertain myself.

I guess what I was thinking is that it isn't so much that I started at one point and arrived at another but that each point I arrived at, I had a choice to go one road or the other. I can look at each of these steps that I took and remember that I made those choices to go down that path and not the other one. When it comes to Maine, I was actually between that and Boston. But I felt that I wasn't ready for Boston and that Maine was a more comfortable approach. With Alice, I was at a point where I could pursue a relationship with her or stay in Prauge which I might still be had it not been for her. My Gym happened because I was in Maine but returning back to Maryland I was on the fence with either going full time in Columbia or pursuing a chance to teach English in Korea. I decided to stay close to my family and friends rather than live in a place where I potentially could have been completely isolated. These are the roads that I am talking about! You control your fate. I control my fate. It isn't written, we weren't destined to meet, I choose my path and I accepted the responsibilities that came with it. Could I be at a different place in my life? Absolutely! But it's not like a choose your own adventure where later on you can go back and read about the other path that you could've taken! This is your life and if you don't like it, change it again! We don't get to go back but work to changing the future. And while I look back I really enjoy tracing the path. But, I am not interested in grabbing the nearest time machine and changing certain events in my life (well maybe I wouldn't have bought that levatron from FAO Schwartz in high school...) but seriously, I am only interested in reminiscing about the good times. I love where I am at and I can't wait to see what lies ahead.

Couple of items of interest for you:

Decision Points
The Gift
Kindle Wireless Reading Device, Wi-Fi, 6" Display, Graphite - Latest Generation

Wistful

I was under the impression that crawling was going to change my life. Well at least my son's life. I was convinced that there would be this milestone that the heavens would part and say, congratulations!

I was very disapointed when that did not happen.

I was astonished when my son turned one. I mean had it really been an entire year?! This absolutely could not be possible since yesterday I was holding him in my arms after the nurse brought him to me. I could not think that my little boy was approaching toddlerhood and I've just spent the last twelve months raising him. I will say that when he did turn one we had a huge party and that felt as close to the heavens saying "congratulations" as possible.

I also thought that when my son started walking that the Mayor of Frederick was going to come over to my house to present me with the keys to the city because I had just helped my son accomplish the biggest accomplishment a human can make.

And when it didn't I began to wonder if anyone actually cared that my child is doing these great things?

I keep hoping that every little thing that he does such as crawling, talking, taking steps, throwing food off his plate onto the ground would be nationally recognized and the live audience in my living room would "ooh" and "ahh" over him clapping his hands when he sings along to if you're happy and you know it on "Your Baby Can Read"  which I add my little review down at the bottom. I guess watching Jon and Kate which is now Kate plus 8 has really warped my view on how much people don't watch my life.

Surprisingly, I'm okay with that.

I truly thrive on those moments and I really feel bad for those parents that don't get to enjoy it. It took a lot of work on my end to truly appreciate it too. I read a lot of baby books. A LOT of baby books. At the end of Alice's pregnancy I was the Encyclopedia Brown on babies! (fantastic series if you're looking to get your child into mysteries!)  I could tell you about different ways to handle colic all the way up to what happens when your partner's water breaks in an elevator! I knew the five genetic markers to look for when looking for down syndrome in Utero and I pretty much had Dr. Seuss' book  Oh, Baby, the Places You'll Go!: A book to be read in Utero memorized by the time Sam arrived. Yep, I knew it all. And after all this work I've put in to be a good dad, to be a prepared dad, to be an excited dad, I felt no connections to this child. I spent hours staring at him while he was asleep saying to myself, "he's your son, he's your son, he's your son, he's your son..." over and over until the words sounded more like, "son heyore me bob" and I couldn't piece the sentence together. A lot of dad's go through this and at first it really bothered me. I truly believe (besides breast feeding) that a dad can do anything that a mom can do. So why is the instant bond and love lacking in the father? Alice once said that she's been literally attached to this baby for 10 months so it's only natural to see the kid after all that time he's been hiding away! I found as the weeks went past that it wasn't about trying to find this Vulcan mind-melding technique (quick sidenote: my spell check didn't recognize the word Utero but recognized Vulcan. 10 bucks says that guy who wrote the spell check program is a major dork!) but rather establish a bond that only a father can have with his son.

I can't tell you how to do that! 


It's probably the biggest piece of advice a dad can give an expecting dad, yet it's a case by case basis. I know that it's something that you work on but careful not to strain yourself. You want to feel connected to your kid and you want it immediately! I say, focus on the love that you want to have for your child and focus on the idea of being a father. Also, constantly stare at him. For me, having Sam open his eyes and smile at my face was the first step that I'm getting it right. He's recognizing me as his dad and it one day just hit me that I'm recognizing him as my son. And when that subconscious thought becomes conscious you really do feel like a father. So I don't need you President Obama to land Air Force One on my lawn and congratulate me on having a son (although, why didn't you damnit!) because I know that no-matter what my child is doing, he knows who is going to be there for him, take care of him and love him. My ipod will play "Hail the Conquering Hero" in the background and I'll make Alice throw confetti on us, as my son and I dance around the living room. There's my fanfare and that's all I need.


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Thumbs Up
 Your Baby Can Read (5 DVD Set and more)

It's hard to tell if this is actually working for him as he's so young still and still hasn't put into motion the whole speaking part of life. I will say that he watches with eyes glued to the TV especially when a word like "clap" appears. I do believe he is understanding words, whether he can say them or not, but he understands the action. These videos really do break down each word and help the child learn through repetition and explanation. Common children songs are on here, "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "Happy and You Know it" but it adds to the playfulness and encouragement of learning can be fun! We try not to let him watch more than an hour each day or one DVD so I don't know how much of that is slowing him down. I just assume that it might take him a bit longer than an older child to learn all of these words, but his brain won't melt from staring at the television for three hours a day!

Printer

An excellent printer for the at home office. I have some experience with printers, both laser and ink jet through my time with FedEx Kinkos. This is one of my favorite at home printers. I think the actual speed of black and white is incredibly impressive (31 ppm)  and the color is ridiculously close behind (25 ppm). The thing that I really appreciate about this printer is the ease of buttons that are on the front console. They tell you exactly what you need to know without confusion. The brightly lit screen really helps as well. A couple of the Brother models boast low energy, fast document feeders and wireless networking, but their screen is so small that the simple tasks are hard to do because you're squinting your eyes to read the command! The HP is incredibly simple to use and it's actually quite light! I definitely think HP got this model right and I work with Macs! Very Mac friendly which just makes my life so much easier!

romance

I'm standing in the rain last night with Alice. We have an umbrella over our heads and the patter of the rain around us is the only sound going on. We're staring at the street light at the edge of our street and watching the cool rain cut through the light. I'm not the biggest fan of rain but being huddled under our tiny umbrella watching it, feeling it and listening to it I gotta admit it was incredibly romantic.

And I am a big fan of romance.

Soaking it all in, I really hope that there are  people out there doing exactly what we were: being a couple in love. I know I'm getting so very sappy and no need to worry about me going into a juvenile Tom cruise moment of jumping up and down on Oprah's couch declaring my love, but I do really enjoy these times. I love having time to just fully appreciate being in a relationship and sharing something as simple as an umbrella. It's really those little things. I always make the statement that the little annoying things break up couples but I also believe that little wonderful thongs make the relationship worth it. And standing under that umbrella in the dark with only a streetlamp to illuminate the falling rain, that little moment really became a big memory to me.

I said earlier that I hope other people are doing exactly what we're doing and I meant it. I believe in our ability to love. We want companionship, friendship, romance, excitement, connection. We want someone in our lives to share our lives. And at the end of the day, when the stress is gone, when the lights have gone down, and the temperature is a little cooler, nothing makes you smile brighter than staring at your loved one under an umbrella, in the dark with only a streetlamp illuminating the falling rain.


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Thumbs up: 


These are as simple as you can get! But my child absolutely loves them! It has probably been the most consistent toy that he has played with throughout his life. The focused concentration on his face as he stacks each block up and then figures out the pattern, shape and size is absolutely astounding. There are so many other brighter, fancier, expensive toys out there. This is a simple toy that really helps your child practice "get it right". I recommend this as a great toy for your child to buy or a great toy to buy someone else's' child!

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Thumbs down:

I will not go as far as to say Parents magazine teaches us nothing! In fact most of the information in it provides quite a good resource for raising children... if you're a mom. Parents magazine still cannot get it through their head that it takes TWO parents to raise a child. Personal views aside about single parents, if you live in a household where two parents are raising children, yeah, the magazine needs to cover both sides. I don't want to hear about how they put in these snippy articles of how dad came home early from work and took Jonny and Sidney out to the zoo and earned himself "father of the year". No self-respecting dad should want to be categorized like that. And if you are raising your kids for that kind of award well fuck you! Be a parent and not a trophy holder! And that is what Parents magazine needs to get through their heads. There are no helpful dad sections! There are no articles from a father's perspective. Help us out here! Maybe if you do, I won't just browse through your stupid magazine waiting in line to pay for the groceries I'm buying in my weekly shopping trips for my family!

Nostalgic

Got hit with the nostalgic bug the other day. I'm looking at a friend of mine photos of all the amazing places she has been in the last two years. I just remembering thinking that was my dream. Travel the world. See every possible sight out there. Have that cliche world map in my room with pins in all the places I wanted to visit. I think how I wish I had the time to see all of these. I wish I had the energy and the life to do it. As another friend had once said to another friend when he claimed that she wasn't in the "real world yet" "I don't have a 9-5 job true, but I have been to over 22 countries, lived in three of them, worked in four, made friends that will stay with me for the rest of my life and established at least 14 different connections of international status including ambassadors. So yeah, I have seen more of the real world than most!"

I don't know about you but that's bragging rights there.

I know how wonderful my life is and I'm not complaining one bit. The point is,  Since moving out of my parents I have couched surf, lived in my jeep (awww, I miss my jeep now too!) traveled up and down the east coast, moved from Virginia, to Maine to Maryland again, seen all kinds of palaces and laid all kinds of girls. I have finally found a place and time where I can call home again and I wouldn't trade it for anything.  And even though i have declared that, believe it and stand by it, I just have those moments where I look at these places and I think of what it would be like to take a picture with the pyramids behind you, or the tower of Pisa, or the Louvre or the yadda yadda yadda! I'm a traveler at heart and yearning to travel beats inside of me. And I know that o will get to these places and when I do I will have a family to share it with. I am so excited about the future of being able to take a picture of Sam with big Ben behind him. These thoughts really help me realize of the kind of man I'm becoming and really wake me up to the fact that I'm part of my family. The great thing about dreaming about seeing the world is that now my dreams include a family to share it with. 


And that's my bragging rights.






Sophie is the greatest toy in the world... if you're not my child. But everything about the giraffe is amazing as far as the organic material, the squeak sounds (which are apparently suppose to encourage your child to bite her, idk) the smell and the texture. For some reason, my kid didn't find Sophie interesting at all. My viewpoint: if I'm paying $17.25 for this toy he damn well better start being interested! Meanwhile, a friend of mine daughter won't put the giraffe down and it is rated one of the best toys for infants so I say give it a shot. Or get a $2 teething ring and call it Sophie to keep up with the Jones'.

Review

So I'm trying out this new Amazon link that i've got going on now. If it goes well then hopefully i will get some extra money here and there. The bad news is that I have to start promoting my blog more and more and adding more people into my life! oh well, that's the breaks.

Fantastic Camera! You get Nikon people who wish that they had this Camera. I like it a lot better than any of Nikon's D series. It's lighter (not so noticeable at first but hold it for a while with a telephoto lens and you'll be able to tell that your hand holds the XSI up a lot longer than the D70) but I think the shutter button is at a much easier and more comfortable position than the D70. The price is pretty good and you definitely get what you paid for. The other thing I really like is that this little company, Tamron has fantastic lenses that are completely compatible and much cheaper than the Canon brand! I will say the only big thing that I wish it had was the ability to shoot at least 4 pictures in the continuous mode. I was really impressed that the D3000 could shoot a rapid 6 and was a little saddened that the Rebel could only pump out 3.5. Honestly it really doesn't matter except when you're taking a fast moving subject. A boy next door was jumping over 5 kids on his skateboard and you could really use that fourth picture jammed in there to get some of the jumping shots. That's really the only thing that I have a problem with. It is absolutely amazing and there is enough to do with the camera and learn about it that it makes a really nice beginning amateur camera. Any other thoughts or questions please don't hesitate to ask!

Steps

So my boy can walk.

Okay, let me rephrase that a little. My boy can run. He runs because he sees something he wants, he's standing up and he knows he needs to move quick before he falls down and doesn't get the thing he has his sights on. This happened today. It started with taking two steps by himself and then he fell down. Then we held up a ball and he got excited and walked a couple more steps and then fell down. Then he saw this little tent and got really excited. But he knew that he could only take a couple steps, so my boy's genius brain kicked in and told him if he moved his feet fast he would take a few more steps but they would be easier because he was moving quicker. Yeah, he'll probably be a physicist when he's grown up, he just gets those kinds of concepts.

it was pretty cool.

All day long we were trying to get him to take more and more steps. We even bought him shoes today! He did not like that one bit! Imagine going an entire year barefoot and then all of a sudden you've got this hot itchy things attached to your feet that you can't get off! Yeah, he didn't like shoes. But in the long run, i'm sure he appreciate them more when it came time to walk on the concrete. Alice had him on one side and I had him on the other, holding his hand and we would walk and then jump and he just laughed and laughed. Probably the greatest moment of my dad life.

my boy can walk.

p.s. If you ever have the urge to drink this please refrain. It's the devil and will very soon be banned from ever being sold in the US. Well, i hope so at least because that seriously causes death (as well as confessions!)

Return

Wow, it has been a while since i've been on here! I apologize to my readers (well you, mom) that i haven't been keeping up with this. A lot of things have happened. 


First off my computer died! Seriously like a stroke. Electric pulses are sent through the computer it shutters and then just dies. Then there was funeral and then I went to Jesus. Well by Jesus I mean the hard drive doctors. They are in the process of recovering some 8 years worth of data off of it so that my new computer will be just like my old. It's been a rough month trying to move on but I think I'm at that stage where I can wake up in the morning, have my coffee and just be happy to be alive. But I do have tear stains that might never go away.


Other exciting thing is Sam turned one last Wednesday! I can't believe it has been an entire year since that little man was born. We had a huge ass party and seriously felt like half of Frederick was there to celebrate. Pretty fantastic for the little guy. Wish he would remember it. But it was incredible. Alice's family came and my family came and half of our My Gym members came. Hell, even Dulcey and Brady came from Columbia (shout out to them for making the trip!) If I had known Waffle House is what would bring Kristi over here faster I would've let her known about that months ago! But the party was great and I will post some pictures on here soon!


Otherwise life is a little mellow right now but it seems as if there are big things on the horizon and I hope that I can keep up with everything to make sure that my family has the sweet life. Anywho, I will write more as the days go by and make sure to keep everyone (well you, mom) updated!

Stupid

Was watching Losing it with Jillian on NBC last night. Now that was a dumb show. I think Jillian is inspiring but the show just was fat people crying and her yelling at them. Guaranteed it was better than the Marriage Ref. But seriously, NBC just sucks in producing tv shows.

Copied

Totally stole this from a friend but it's a really great read so enjoy!


So, this morning my alarm clock powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the US department of energy went off at 7:00am. I then took a shower in the clean water provided by the municipal water utility. After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC regulated channels to see what the National Weather Service of the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration determined the weather was going to be like using satellites designed, built, and launched by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. I watched this while eating my breakfast of US Department of Agriculture inspected food and taking the drugs which have been determined as safe by the Food and Drug Administration.

At the appropriate time as regulated by the US Congress and kept accurate by the National Institute of Standards and Technology and the US Naval Observatory, I get into my National Highway Traffic Safety Administration approved automobile and set out to work on the roads build by the local, state, and federal departments of transportation, possibly stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the Environmental Protection Agency, using legal tender issued by the Federal Reserve Bank. On the way out the door I deposit any mail I have to be sent out via the US Postal Service and drop the kids off at the public school.

After spending another day not being maimed or killed at work thanks to the workplace regulations imposed by the Department of Labor and the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, enjoying another two meals which again do not kill me because of the USDA, I drive my NHTSA car back home on the DOT roads, to my house which has not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and fire marshal's inspection, and which has not been plundered of all it's valuables thanks to the local police department.

I then log on to the internet which was developed by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency and post on freerepublic.com and the Fox News forums about how SOCIALISM in medicine is BAD because the government can't do anything right.

Crashed

... and burned! What a week! TO start off with, I'm trying to write more but I have slowly had the life beaten out of me these last couple of weeks. I have had a strain put on my relationship with my girl and my child. I can feel the tension in the room and it absolutely is so thick that you can feel it. I'm convinced that there were moments these last few weeks that someone could have rested their back against the wall of tension we had and read their morning paper. There was just a string of unpleasantness spiting out of both us and it always had something to do with the tinniest thing would set us off. No major fight just a lot of bickering and evil glares. it was bad!

And I honestly can't say that it's over.

We all seem to have those days where nothing goes right, we want to kill someone; someone wants to kill us; we need to punch something really hard or scream at something really hard, and just release the anger. I always imagine screaming up at the sky while the camera fades back and you see the rain pouring down on me yadda yadda yadda.

These were the kind of moments that were coming up over and over. I hate when I can feel a fight coming on and I'm like, "where's that escape route?" and right as I have no choice but to jump out of my second story window, the door slams open and i hear, "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" and sigh, I reply in such a monotone voice that would make any Wal-Mart service rep glow with pride, "i am so sorry you feel that way dear. I hope that i can spend the next few hours fixing the problem so you can relax and be happy again." Automated. Amazingly, that little speech didn't fix it. Shocking. I'm like, "Wow, Wal-Mart, WAKE UP! WE'RE DOING SOMETHING WRONG HERE!"

But the fight begins there and really when I'm fighting I see a lot of visual references pass through my mind. Snowballs rolling down hills, getting bigger and bigger until it's a gianormous snowball ready to collapse the very house i'm yelling and screaming my head off! I see the small wave in the distant water rising, becoming the giant tsunami  crashing down upon the tiny village house where i'm trying to make my point of view the right point of view! Images just spit out of my brain and I don't know if it's just the momentum of these images boiling to a greater point, but I get angrier each moment I watch the earthquake swallow the entire city where the other person is yelling at me. I have Chuck Norris fight scenes play in my head, kicking my opponents ass with my Chuck Norris punches, kicks and general awesomeness.

All I want to do is say these few sentences and then crawl into my bed and forget everything happened that day.

But even after all of the yelling and the grumpies and the pouting and the kicking and whining has ended. Even after all of that has subsided and I can concentrate on a decent night sleep, I hear the next sound that has added shit to my pile of misery.

Baby cries.

The son has awoken at 4am to be fed or had a nightmare or enjoys the fact that he has a recorded schedule of your REMs and can interrupt them right as they get to the good part. Whatever it is, he's awake and now so are you. And then after a bottle, a rousing rendition of rock a bye baby, and a few more whimpers, Sam has fallen back asleep. And then after dealing with that for an hour, an hour after that your alarm rings to start you on your day. FML.

I hope that these anger pains subside soon and I start seeing blue skies, pretty birds and green pastures. I hope that the calming wave that bristles through the land comes to rest at my feet. I hope that when all of the arguing, the snide comments, the looks of disgust get out of our systems, we will enjoy a much happier life. I need to get back to that because I have big plans that are getting ready to be unveiled in the next few months and I need to be happy and excited to do it. That will be all that I announce on that subject right now.

Alice and Sam are gone for the night (wahoo I'm free) so I'm going to bed.

Checkout

I haven't posted in a while so I thought I would take someone else's post and let them write what I'm too lazy too. This guy is my hero.

The Dadler: Balloons schmalloons, give me these 5 things the next time I shop

Posted by Scott Adler in Babies, Dads, Preschoolers, The Dadler, Toddlers | April 20th, 2010 | Trackback

All the hubbub last week about Trader Joe’s bailing on balloons struck me as a bunch of complaining.
 
Well, in the spirit of Dina Freeman’s post about mommy drive-thrus, I’m not going to moan about TJ’s smacking down the one thing that kept me in their store when I had the kids in tow.
 
No. Instead I’m here with solutions.
 
I’m giving market and store owners everywhere five ideas for ensuring that they will never, ever be without mom and dad shoppers in their aisles:
 
1. A checkout lane for child haters
 
Get the childless away from me as I’ve got enough on my hands that I don’t need to deal with folks who are bummed they’re behind my bazillion items and my kid who’s interrupting their reading of Hot Lives of the Childless Magazine to say, “Hi, Hi, Hi,” and “Hi!”
 
2. Spray paint cereal boxes with captains, bunnies, and other cartoon characters black
 
It’s amazing to me that the cigarette-smoking camel has been banned from America’s stores while kids are still being seduced by a green dude peddling high-fructose corn syrup stars and clovers.
 

And while I’m at it – why can’t the “healthy” cereals ditch the earnest, anatomically correct drawings of things like puffins for something more intriguing (like that damn camel) that will actually make my kids want to eat the stuff (we’re battling for minds here, health-food marketers. Cowboy up).
 
3. The baby has just crapped checkout lane
 
Blowouts happen. Escape is necessary.
 
4. Carts outfitted with berry- or O-shaped cereal–filled hamster bottles
 
I’m sick and tired of stuffing unwashed, toxic-laced blueberries into my kids’ mouths at the market.
 
So how about when I walk in I have the option of purchasing a sterile hamster bottle filled with some delightful kid food? This would allow my child to gorge themselves with washed berries or cereal treats.
 
And here’s the thing: With my hands and mind freed from the task of reacting to my needy child, I’d spend more money because I could actually get to all the things on my list. I bet the stores would cover the costs of those hamster bottles in two or three trips - tops.
 
5. Virtual world online shopping
For those online retailers who say we could skip store tantrums, hang-ups, or bodily fluid incidents by clicking to buy, I have this to say: The computer is inside my house.
 
Shopping is a way to break the stir-crazy blues. And when you have a newborn, this break is critical (I recall conversations with the butcher fondly). And even when your baby has grown into a kid, shopping via computer while your child hits return again and again is not fun.
 
But imagine online retailers sending out headsets and goggles that would allow us to, say, select pineapples on the beach at Waikiki or tomatoes atthat little farmer’s market in Tuscany I read about once in Hot Lives of the Childless Magazine? Now that might keep me in the house…
 
Like what you’re reading? Bookmark “The Dadler” and don’t miss a word.
 
Photo: “Shopping cart” by Eden, Janine and Jim

Sporadic

It's the first day of April! Yahoo! Get those practical jokes ready boys and girls. Where are you whoopie cushions, your exploding peanut cans and your fake shit? Today is the day when anything to can happen to anyone and it's a free pass! You can't get mad! I will say that the only exception to this rule is that you can't do anything to anyone that will last longer than today. For instance, you cannot kill someone's rabbit and say, "April Fools!" and then tomorrow say, "that was suppose to be funny." That's the rule. Although, people who murder other people's rabbits are just cruel and deserve to be punished. Let's leave murder off the list for people and animals alike. Unless they're chickens.

That was a very random starting paragraph.

So I've been watching Parenthood. Anyone else? I don't know if it's just 10 time better than it should be because I am a parent, but that show has me shedding some tears (just a couple though, nothing like faucets on and overflowing sink!) but the main dad in this show, Adam, is going through a lot of shit. And this is shit that anyone can deal with. I guess that's the thing about this show that really gets to you. These are real situations and things that could happen to any dad. So far it's been Autism, daughter's boyfriends, family, baseball I mean the list goes on and on. Just seeing him keep it together through all of this has been really inspiring. I hate using that word about a television show. I hate being inspired by something that isn't true. I guess television's goal is to offer a glimpse of how much better we as people could be and let's try harder.

Anyway, it's a good show and start watching it.

A lot of things have been happening around me lately and I would love to jot them all down but I need to collect my thoughts first. Nothing bad but exhausting and I'm ready for a much needed break. I just would like a moment to slow down and relax. I will say that an argument was held last night over this and really had absolutely nothing to do with that link but it did start some word vomit and frustrations. I'm tired and I need to sleep. It just seems that I'm given the chance to sleep at the point when I'm not tired! That right there is a frustrating fact. Why do I get a chance for 8 hours of sleep at 9 o'clock at night? I'm sorry but I haven't done that since I was 10! I would like to go to bed at 11 or 12 o'clock and be able to sleep until 8 the next morning without interruption. I would like to choose the sleep pattern and maybe that will help. I do not want to be dictated when and where I will sleep. I'm rambling again.

Okay brain, calm down.

I will have an actual insightful blog next time.

Simple

Okay, I'm adding another post with absolutely nothing to talk about. I really wish my life were a little more exciting or impressive or even any thoughts came to my head so I could write them down more often. Life is going well, Sam is doing great and there really is absolutely nothing to complain about. My Gym Frederick reopens on Monday and I am ready!

This will probably be the shortest entry I will ever write. You're welcome.

Reflection

When do you feel like you are a man?

This is my question for my two readers that I pose for you. Is it, thinking of others, raising a family, turning 18? This big question leads me to ask another one: do I feel like a man?

I know there are jokes you all are either making out loud or in your heads, hah hah hah! But seriously, when I look in the mirror do I see a man or a young adult? I know you can't answer that question but for me, I don't see or feel myself in any sort of adult "man" role. I don't know if it's the job that I do, acting like I'm 5 all day (i love my job!) Or, just the fact that i see my parents on a regular basis and visualize coming to the kitchen on a Saturday morning and eating the delicious raspberry scones my mother has baked while planning an interesting day in D.C. spent with museums, walks through the Mall or flying a kite right by the Monument. I don't know if it's just as you reach the pinnacle of your teenage years you stop growing and start accepting that you'll only be 5'7 for the rest of your life and you will have a stockier build then that stupid lanky kid playing basketball. It's probably a combination of all of these ideas wrapped into one. For me, when I look at myself in the mirror (first I flex my biceps!.. okay, you didn't need to know that...) and then I think about how I'm not a teenager. I'm not a little guy who depends on his dad to drive him to the movies to meet up with friends. I'm not a boy who plays out in the snow all day and then rushes in for Hot Chocolate with mini-marshmallows that mom has waiting for me (hah, actually Alice still does that for me only it's more shoveling snow then making snowmen!) I'm not the guy who walks the halls of his high school, making plans for the weekend and complaining about Ms. Griffin's lack of English teaching skills (true story). I'm no longer that person. I've grown up.

It sucks.

Okay, being older has a lot of advantages. I don't have a bedtime obviously. I'm writing this at 1:30 in the morning (what's up mom and dad?!) but I have to understand the consequence of staying up. That's the thing as grownups that our grownups forgot to mention. There are a lot more consequences for what we do now and we spend a lot of our lives considering them before we make any final decision. Especially money. Before it was carefree, who needs a savings account?! Life insurance? Really? Me? I'm going to take my chances on not getting into a fatal accident thus deterring me away from the decision to get Health insurance. Now, especially being a dad, everything is about where the money goes. If we get the half off formula then we can put that money away for a really nice private school. School! What's the best school to send your kid? What does an overall education mean? Have you noticed that this paragraph mostly has questions in it? Just did it again. That's the thing about being a parent: you have a million questions! And that's only the ones you yourself have. What happens when your little guy starts asking the really hard questions: why is the sky blue? Where do babies come from? and of course, why was i adopted? Okay, I'm pretty sure most of you won't get that last one, but for my sister and I, it was a good question.

I just need a second or two (by second I mean hour) simply to just breathe and remember that answers come when you're ready for them. I have so many questions and I know that taking it slowly and positively I will find my answers. I just wonder if the kids that I teach or the kids in school see me as a man. I have such a hard time accepting the fact that I have reached that "man" phase. I have reached that stage where people say, "you are your own man, now" and that just freaks me out. Being a man means making the tough choices and being responsible and just facing the truth that is in front of you. I just want to look at that mirror and see myself as the little boy that had his Apple Cinnamon Pop-Tart each morning and then went over to Mrs. Pacifico's and watched Gummie Bears with David before climbing on bus 235 to school. I just want to be that kid that had his ass-kicked in Four Square, 1 on 1 basketball, 2 on 2 basketball and team basketball (looking back on my life, I don't think I've ever been good at basketball! And yet it's all I played). I just want to be that boy who only worried about his grade school crush and getting good grades. As a man, there are so many things you have to deal with before getting to Susie's love note stuck in your locker. Let's tackle each one of those at a time. Then I'll unfold that note and read what it said. I hope one day I can look in the mirror and no longer see that boy. I hope one day I can look in the mirror and officially say, "I am a man".

Maybe when I'm 30.

Anniversary

I would like to announce that it has been a year since I started posting on here. Thank you to any readers who tuned in and read my rants and my obscure views of life, parenting and beyond. I appreciate it and hope to see much more in the future!

Photographs

I'm attaching some pictures on here of Sam because he is just so darn cute! Plus I'm pretty proud of my camera skills. I am definitely a Canon man! I was tempted to switch to Nikon when they released their D90 but resisted even though having a HD video camera on there is pretty tempting. I would like to offer a piece of advice for anyone buying a camera: go buy one. I spent so many hours trying to figure out what I wanted and what was the best and what I could afford. I finally just made a decision and it worked for me. I love Canon products and I would like to stay with them for the duration of my time as a photographer. So that's my spiel. Let me know if you like the pics!

Siesta

Naps are amazing. That is one thing that I'm shocked we as Americans never picked up: Siestas. OMG, how amazing would a freakin' STOP what you are doing in the middle of the day and just lay the hell down! Wow, I would just think more people would be happy and content and more work would end up being done! Really should look more into this. I think if i ever owned my own business then I would have a siesta period during the day. I guess it would have to be one of those places where you could afford to lose 2 hours of business and yes those employees wouldn't be paid for it, but how much happier would they be? Refreshed. Invigorated. Sam and I took a Siesta today and when I woke up from that hour of sleep I was ready to conquer the world! I felt so alive and so ready to do anything my brain could come up with! So I saw down to write this and then I got bored and went downstairs and watched TV. I'm awesome.

Rest

Oh My goodness my son doesn't sleep. We fought it for a good hour and a half and then decided to get him out of the crib and put him on his bed in his room. Another hour. Actually I drifted off while he stared at the wall as if watching paint dry. And then he rolled over, kicked me a couple of times until I woke up and here we are. So I said, "fine!" and now he's bouncing on his jumperoo and laughing at me that he got his way. Oh man!

I love giving into my child and I hate it. I think there will always be those people that say you shouldn't and those that say that you should. As these days stretch into months I'm finding that the advice from a parent goes only as far as their child's age. Those little nuggets of advice that really seem helpful just don't work anymore. I know that when I meet someone with a four-month old I will be spilling out the wealth of knowledge that I have accumulated these last 8 months, but yeah, it really doesn't mean much.

My son doesn't want to take a nap today.

There could be a hundred reasons why. I fed him too much, I gave him a sweet berry dessert for lunch, he wants to play, he's growing out of his afternoon nap, he is more interested in watching cars drive by, he likes getting his way, he's making a stand for all babies that they won't go down without a fight! I don't know. I really don't care. It's not a matter of why it's just a simple answer: my son doesn't want to take a nap today. And that's fine with me. I've been telling Alice when she says we need to get him into more of a routine, he already is in one. It's called Morning, Afternoon, Evening and Night. We are not routine kind of people and each day something new and exciting is about to happen. That's why we get up in the morning. To see what's in store for us. We used to get a lot of people (okay, honestly, a lot of moms) tell us that there needs to be structure to his day: morning naps, afternoons, feedings at this time, changing times yadda yadda yadda! Maybe their right. But how many people can have a schedule where they still have the routine going on? Their life can't possibly be that predictable and simple. I would like to meet these people and see how happy they are. Whether it's because our lives are different each day or because he follows a routine, my baby boy will smile at you every time he makes eye contact with you! So I'm pretty confident he's happy. That's all I need to know.

I just wanted to write some thoughts about how Sam is giving all the cues of wanting to sleep but even at 8 months old, proving that he'll get his way whether I like it or not! Also to let you readers know that I did my first Partial Mash beer brew the other day and now it's time to really start the ball rolling on All-Grain Beery brewing! Unless this beer tastes terrible in which case I will give up all together and never mention home brewing again!

Bros

I've never had a best friend. I guess I've had a series of intense good friends and some that have come increasingly close, but never a best friend. i have friends of course and i have people who are closer to me than others and all that. But i've never really had someone who has always been there, who relies on me the way i rely on them. I watch television shows and movies and sometimes the occasional documentary where these people just unify themselves with one another and coin the term "best friend" and I just feel gipped. Like I've missed out on something extremely important. I miss the hanging out at a bar with best friends, planning trips together, starting a cappella groups together (okay, i only did that once! We called ourselves the Men In Plaid!.. sometimes I have to convince myself I'm not gay...) I haven't had a hard life by any means, quite the opposite. I just feel that I have never been able to share every single moment of my life with a best friend. 


Now guaranteed this blog is brought upon because of watching How I Met Your Mother the other day. Watching Barney, Ted and Marshall  I get to a point where when I get married I don't know who I would have as my best man. I have quite a few people on my list who would meet that category but no one person stands out above the crowd. I guess in some sense it's a good thing. I have all of these friends and acquaintances that I could list to be a contender to stand by my side when I'm up at the alter. But I would have a hellva time narrowing that list down. There have been many people in my life that have done extraordinary things for me. Things that I could never ever repay. I know that some people I owe my life. I guess that most of these "bros" have always been in relationships and i've always been that third wheel.


it really started back in high school. Actually to be more specific eighth grade. I have known Matt since kindergarden but didn't really become good friends with him until around eighth grade. Before it was always band, occasional basketball games and classes. But now, we really started a friendship. We literally played basketball at his house everyday for a year. I think his record was like 96 games to 1 that he kicked my ass! I wasn't very good. But then he went and screwed it all up by dating some girl when we got to high school. His first real girlfriend. So naturally he was crazy about her and stopped hanging out as much. Friday became date night and no more sneaking into R rated movies or hanging out with other friends. I would call him up and he was on the other line with this girl or she would call and he would just forget he was talking to me. It became a lonely freshman year.


And then they broke up!


I've made my case for marriage and love and commitment and all that bullshit. But seriously, when you're a single guy in his first year of high school, yeah, you need a bro. So Matt breaking up with his girlfriend was kinda a big deal. And we grabbed onto that friendship like it had never been tainted and continued on being best bros and dominating the world. 


And then he started dating someone else!


After that first girlfriend he was continually dating someone. Not hookup after hookup of course, but a steady stream of girls until he met Meg. Meg was an unbelievable nightmare to bachelor life because she's freaking amazing. Obviously I stood no chance against her magnificent powers of seduction and "relationship-ness". But being young and stupid I tried to keep up this close bond with Matt and continually tried to get him to be a bro and not a relationship zombie. In the end I failed and they got married. Sigh. Exit Matt.


It's never a question of do i support marriage and love because it's always "yes I do". I'm a huge fan of people finding each other and proving to the world that commitment is real. I have always said that Matt and Meg have been my generation's definition of love and commitment and I still stand by that. They have what I've always wanted and hope to eventually have. Just being a single guy for so long and trying to find a BFF to ignite all of my shenanigans every night has been tough when your supposed BFF has gone off and committed himself!


But coming over to a few years later I meet John. Now in John's defense he was already in a relationship when I met him and it has always been about the two of them. So it didn't even have to cross that point of, "goddammit, he's found someone!" I knew what I was getting into when I met him. Even still, John became my bro right away and we had an excellent run for a few years down in Harrisonburg, making history or at least some fun stories to tell our kids. We even tried living together for a year (which didn't end so well). In the end I would lose him to the love of his life and now his wife and him have settled down and lost a bit of their youth.


Besides these two men, I have a good chunk of close friends and a lot of people who have implemented themselves into my life. But I have a lot of disappointing stories as well. Many people through the years have come and gone. And I've had a good deal of bros and had a good deal of good times with said bros. But I'm talking about a best friend that calls you up and as Barney so cleverly puts, "SUITS UP!" with him to the next whimsical event that is taking place that very evening. It just got me thinking. Obviously I'm not looking for a new bro because I have a gal now, but it would be nice to look back on my past years and not see how lonely it was. The nights spent when I was in Maine watching back to back FRIENDS episodes; the many number of nights watching Netflicks movies in Baltimore; the few memories I still have of Harrisonburg trying to find some kind of friend to partake in some kind of event that sad little city offered, it makes me a little sad. I then wonder why I'm so sad about it. I have a beautiful son who completes my life, I have a beautiful girl who fulfills my every desire, I keep in touch with a lot of friends that span over a decade. I have a roof over my head, I eat more food than I should and I pretty  much love my job.


I guess in the end, when I look back at those memories when I wish my best friend and I were out trying to be each other's wingman, drinking ourselves stupid or sitting side by side in a holding cell, I guess that's just not the kind of person that I am. It's not the kind of person that I want to be. I have an amazing life and there isn't anything to ever complain about. The only reason I'm writing this right now is because I don't have a best friend to share it with.

Snow

We got hit by a lot of snow. A lot. Broke all sorts of records for this blizzard and it was insane. And then we got hit again! Two blizzards accumulating about 76" total I believe. Crazy. So what did we do? We took Sam sledding! He didn't like it too much!

Revisit

So i was teaching class the other day and I'm watching this boy Joshua play with the other kids. It brought me back to the days of when he was first starting at My Gym and he was only about 2-2.5 years of age. He was an obnoxious kid who never listened and always thought something was funny. Really fun to be around and very happy go lucky but he would push others, hit them, kick them and do whatever the hell he pleased. I remember on many occasions that I just wanted to throw him as far as I could (which would've been pretty far since he weighed so little!) Columbia is a highly structured program. Frederick is more laid back and maybe that's been our problem. I've been in many a gym and seen all different ways of running class. Things to remember, it works in one location and it doesn't work in others. These are the issues I'm trying to address to corporate. Another story, another time.

Columbia has a very structured program and it's followed down to the letter. It's really great being a teacher there because it occupies your entire hour long class and makes it go that much faster! Then there are those children that are not very good with the structure and will try and resist it. It happens. We deal with it. Back in those days he just was a pain in my ass and ruined the structured of class so much that I didn't even want him in there. Mom was never a help either. I don't know if it was a language barrier or using My Gym as a means to get him to learn about structure, but she put all of this responsibility on us. She made sure that she got what she was paying for! I would walk up to her and say that she needed to help her son, he can't run around like that, he can't do this and he can't do that. She would always nod her head and say in broken English, "okay, I will" and then turn back to her book across the room. A little annoying. There was a time when he went to the bathroom and I guess his family doesn't do diapers or underwear (i don't know if it's an Elimination Communication kinda thing or just never thought it was necessary for children) but he ran out of the bathroom without his pants. And he ran all around the gym completely exposed from the waist down. Actually pretty hilarious. I wished I had a video camera of that and could give her a copy to embarrass him when he was 16!

Point is, he was just a really crazy child back then and it was 2 years ago and now he's 4.5 years of age. He listens better but still a very wild child. He was in class the other night with 2-3 year olds and granted he's about their height, but still very rough. Again, told mom that he couldn't be in here, again, got the nod and okay and again, went back to her book. Actually, this time it wasn't her book. It was her second child! Her second child has now reached the age that Joshua used to be when he first started class. And he is exactly like him! Doesn't follow direction, doesn't listen, pushes, hits and kicks. Absolutely crazy that there are two of them!


My thoughts: wait until your child is about 5 before you think about having a second one. Because that woman probably hasn't slept in 6 years. I realize that he's not quite 5 yet but I'm sure that boy was giving her hell in her uterus! Your baby is just an absolute joy to you when they're 0-1 year, funny and difficult in a fun way when they're 2 and excited and interesting when they're 3. But when they start hitting 4 and 5 you really start seeing what your mom was talking about when she said, "i hope you have children that act just like you!" Scary.

Not to say that I'm waiting that long but it does give you something to think about. let's hope Sam isn't like that at all. Oh, and Joshua's brother's name is Sam so the whole night I was saying, "Sammy share! Sammy don't push! Sammy leave Hailey's hair alone!"

Foreshadowing?

Vent

We get a lot of crap from mom's magazine's and coupons about diapers, formula, other crap that people apparently like to buy (an entire Nestle catalog with coupons for all of their stuff all in a handy yearly calendar so you can keep track of your kid's fatness!) Most of it, like any other coupon you think, "I'll definitely use this!" and three months after the expiration date you realize that you still have it. It piles up and over the coupon holder that we keep in our kitchen and from time to time remember to throw it away. Some of it we use right away, like free tacos from Taco bell (can I get a mmmmm!) but for the most part we get our healthy share of what ifs.

I absolutely hate Mom magazines. There are all of these just sob stories of how their child never sleeps and what can I do to improve, tips on how to lose that belly and really bad snacks that you can dress up to look really cute (ie. whoopie pie dressed up as mice with whip cream eyes and chocolate chip nose's and licorice smiles and pretzel sticks for whiskers. The Whoopie pie part was unhealthy to begin with!) Most of all, I hate the fact that these mom magazine's are made for parents and yet nothing actually covers things for a dad. And if that knife that stabbed you in the heart really didn't disrupt any ventricle, it gives you articles such as, "how to make your man recognize your child" or "a better place to put the diaper bag so dad will find it". Kinda annoying. I know that most of these magazines have 98% women reader's and most dad's would never lift a finger to read this trash, but even still. There are 2% of us still out there who would enjoy a healthy tip or two. And I'm not talking about how to figure out if your child is sick. They're puking, they're probably sick! I'm saying, incorporate some of these articles to help dad's find the best way to sleep, what your baby is trying to tell you, when does attachment really start to kick in. These days I'm finding that each article I read I have to substitute "mom" for "dad" and it kinda drives me crazy! I'm pretty sure it's taking two of us to raise our kid and shouldn't that warrant an extra article for me?!

The reason for this rant is the article I read in Baby Talk. Now I will say it's pretty cool that a magazine that's geared towards moms actually has a Senior Editor that's a father and he has his own column. The thing that isn't cool are the topics that he chooses (also, he's not a terribly great writer).  This month he chooses to write about breaking up with his spouse by 8 years. He himself is not doing it, but read a statistic that most marriages end after 8 years of life. He has the funny moments like, "I'm going to end up a diabetic man remarried to a Russian woman, seeing my boys every other weekend." But the big problem is that he doesn't actually relate any part of his life to this article. It's mostly a what-if. He even states at the end, "The truth is despite all the research, there is no seeing what lies on the other side of a break-up." 

THEN WHY BRING IT UP?!

He doesn't even believe this would happen to him so why waste all of our time writing this two column article when it doesn't even apply. This is what I get as a dad? A useless article about things that may or may not come into fruition? Meanwhile I've got A-ZZZ's about sleep, love your new mom body and hip mama articles for the women. C'mon! I just need some sort of substance that allows me to know that what I'm doing is okay and that I'm not the only one doing it. Not morbid thoughts about what would my life be like if it ended!

Unbelievable.